
If you’re a Catholic man and now wonder if you’ve ever experienced any symptoms of the Casanova complex, reading this entire article will help you learn not only that but also how you can safely avoid it or got out of it. Furthermore, I’ll reveal to you the little known reasons why you should care about it based on my own experience with both the seduction game’s approach anxiety and the Casanova complex that got me stuck in 2 largely ignored personality disorders. And, yes, I was a Catholic man at the time, but a fallen away Catholic man who turned his back on God.
So, why you should really care about the Casanova complex?
Like many men, I easily got seduced into the ‘fun’ side of dating and bought into the idea of picking up countless beautiful women just to have sex with them and nothing else. Not only did I firmly believe that this whole thing was absolutely fun and harmless but also did I irrationally believe that it was part of my true passion and who I really was. I went so far that I even believed it was part of my true identity destined to enjoy not only the ‘fun’ side of meeting women purely as my sexual objects but also the potential of becoming a porn star.
However, one day I got enlightened to the realization that the ‘fun’ side of practicing the seduction game also known as the pickup arts (PUA) wasn’t fun any longer as it suddenly revealed its real face – the dark side of it. And, its dark side was all about having me stuck in an extremely weird anxiety around meeting women. I’m talking about the kind of anxiety that not only felt so unnatural and unreal to me but also turned out to be the main and only force driving me to boldly approach and make sexual advances with random women wherever I’d go.
I turned into an anxiety-driven PUA guy madly obsessed with sex and started to completely lose control over all my behaviors around meeting women, because again, my sudden, unnaturally high anxiety became the main driving force of all my sexual advances and it was getting worse and worse.
And, here’s where the whole out-of-control, anxiety-struck trouble actually comes from.
I got addicted to boldly approaching my target women as my sexual objects purely driven by my anxiety and nothing else, because I’d initially bought into the idea of having to beat my approach anxiety by going out just to approach as many random women in a day as possible.
The habit of trying to beat your approach anxiety around women by boldly approaching them in public places on a large scale day-in, day-out, the kind of habit that’s also suggested as part of the exposure therapy that you might have learned about from pickup artists, is what eventually gets you stuck in all your abnormal, out-of-control, anxiety-driven, sexual behaviors that are serious symptoms of a personality disorder.
You’re still not sure this is you? Well, whether you’ve actually gone through this frustrating, painful experience or you haven’t, what I’m about to tell you will not only help you make the whole matter crystal clear to you but also help you avoid it or got out of it as promised earlier in this article.
The whole Casanova complex issue arises the moment you start to force yourself to go out just to pick up women for sex.
To remind you, forcing yourself into something often means pushing yourself into doing what you don’t really love. And, if you’re a Catholic, you know that God is love.
The moment you start forcing yourself into doing what you don’t really love, you start losing both your peace of mind and the purpose of who you really are. In other words, you stop loving both yourself and God as you’re trying very hard to push yourself into doing what you don’t truly love.
As a result, you start experiencing an anxiety. In this case, that’s the seduction game’s approach anxiety around meeting women.
And, here’s why your approach anxiety around women is actually a good thing that you should never try to beat.
Your anxiety is like your border line that separates your sanity from your insanity. Once you cross that anxiety-filled border line by forcing yourself into doing something that you don’t truly love and enjoy, you’ll enter the zone of your insanity – the zone of unhealthy behaviors and personality disorders where you don’t want to be.
This is the reason why I like to describe a Catholic man’s seduction game-related approach anxiety as his guardian angel, because it warns him of the dangers and risks of entering the devil’s insanity zone where you get stuck doing what you don’t really love and enjoy.
It’s like God calling you to come back from within your conscience where His Holy Spirit inspires you to love yourself and others the same way God loves you.
It’s like God telling you: “Don’t approach women like that because it’s nothing to do with loving them.”
So, what’s the Casanova complex all about and where it comes from?
The Casanova complex is a mental disorder that drives you to be emotionally unavailable, deceptive and manipulative in all your communications and relationships with women, because everything you do revolves around fixing your low self esteem and boosting your ego based on just your interest in sex and nothing else. It’s all about you desperately seeking an instant sexual gratification and attention from women just to feel good about yourself while not being able to build a healthy emotional connection with any woman. You end up hopping from one woman to another like a suicide bomber because your anxiety-driven and self sabotaging compulsive sexual behavior not only exposes you to the risk of experiencing a public embarrassment but also gets so much out of your control that you may even break the law.
The Casanova complex is rooted in 2 largely ignored personality disorders: borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
In the BPD case, you get so overly obsessed with seducing and having sex with countless random women that you end up frantically chasing unavailable or taken women like a mad robot programmed to do so. You’d initially engage in such anomalous, out-of-control, compulsive sexual behaviors all thanks to your irrational fear of abandonment that often comes from unresolved conflicts from the past relationships with your mother who either emotionally neglected you or didn't show enough caring love to you at an early age.
Put simply, by boldly approaching unavailable women, you unconsciously try to revive and overcome your strong feelings of anger and resentment for not having your emotionally unavailable mother meet your emotional needs during your childhood. As a result, you get addicted to boldly approaching unavailable women merely as a quick fix for feeling empty and abandoned and just to instantly feel good about yourself again. And, you get stuck doing it all despite the fact that you're very likely to face a negative response from most of these women.
On the other side, playing the role of a Casanova man who suffers from NPD gets you an unhealthy sense of entitlement coupled with a fear of abandonment and a fear of intimacy. You get so convinced that you’re entitled to get whatever you set your eyes on that anybody could easily get you into a sudden outburst of your narcissistic rage if they don't let you have what you want. This is primarily where your anxiety-driven behaviors come from. You fear abandonment in the sense of fearing the loss of your narcissistic supply and your toxic sense of entitlement.
In short, the narcissistic supply relates to the show-off things that an NPD man likes to use just to boost his ego and draw attention or admiration from others. These are things like money, compliments, a favorable critique, an appearance in the media or a sexual conquest. And, he often shows them off with grandeur.
The common factor of the 2 personality disorders is the lack of a stable identity that’s all about accepting who you are and how you feel about yourself, others and the things around you.
Once you decide not to accept your true self and your true feelings, you abandon your God-given true identity of loving yourself and others the same way God loves you, and you end up in that unnatural and weird anxiety that forces you to be who you are not and behave the way you don’t really love and enjoy. As a result, you end up in that dark devil’s zone of insanity, you remember?
The bottom line is that the only way for you to find a lasting peace and purpose is to do what you truly love, because again, the truth is God is love.