To not be understood but to understand

A lot of us have probably heard of the St. Francis prayer. Even if you can’t think of it right now here it is:

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

I have always been drawn to this prayer as a kind of “how to live your life guide”. The first half draws me in; it inspires us to take the evil of this world, and be like Christ. Satan would love for us to believe that the world is all evil and hopeless, but Christ inspires hope and love. And we are meant to be the instruments of that love that we are capable of doing that. The second half though unnerves me a bit.

At first glance it doesn’t seem that bad to me. “May not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand . . . etc” It sounds great, and I think yes that’s exactly how I want to live my life. Then I take a second look. I do not want to be console rather console others, to not be understood but to understand. And those are great things to desire, and I tend to have a very servant like spirit concerning others. So this is a great prayer designed completely to serving others, but the problem I’ve encountered is sacrificing my wellbeing for others.

I have to remind myself that we are all humans, and we all desire to find rest. To be consoled and to be understood. So now this prayers says you shouldn’t desire those things you should only give them to others, and you never receive them. I wrestled with this because that didn’t makes sense. Why would God ask me to do this for all of His creation, and find no rest myself? I am not God and cannot endure that kind of suffering forever. The best part is that’s not what God was saying at all.

I feel what St. Francis meant with this prayer was we do not need to be consoled because God has consoled us. We do not need to be understood because God already understands us. I found comfort in this as well as the realization that God works through His creation. This prayer is meant for everyone not for one individual to take on the weight of the world’s suffering. There was only one person who was called to that, and His name is Jesus Christ.

We should not pray to be consoled or understood rather the strength to do that for others. And God will provide the rest. “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:25-26. He will give you what you need. He knows what you truly need. If you need to consoled or understood He will either give you that peace or send someone who can help you.

I used to think that to follow Christ I was going to suffer for the kingdom, and it was going to be hard 24/7. I’m finding that I suffer the most when I am not aligned with my Father. God does not abandon us. This prayer is not a sign that following God or helping others will just bring hardship. He replenishes us if we only let Him. If we simply let go of how we think God should work, and let Him do what He does best. In this, I have found that God really does bring me rest, and I know He wants to do the same for all of us.