A topic I never want to write about again

12/31/2024 • View profile

A topic I never want to write about again

There are some things that I hope I'll never have to write about again. This is one of those things.
I think most of y'all have figured out that I have struggled with depression my whole life. I can't remember a time when I wasn't depressed.
That's not to say I was in a constant state of unhappiness. That's not quite what depression is.
I mean, that, for whatever reason, I've always felt (not literally always), kind of sad.
While I certainly have some problems, it's nothing like it was.
I was a self-harmer as a teenager. Maybe those words mean nothing to you, but they mean something to me.
I did think about suicide. Often, in fact.
I even attempted it. Thank goodness it didn't work!
I'm not going to judge the souls of suicides (nor would I, Catechism of the Catholic Church), but I do want to help people who are struggling with those thoughts to know that God has a plan for them, God has a purpose for you.
A few years ago, a very sweet Congolese priest whom I knew took his own life. (I even made a song about it, and this will probably be the only time I share my own music;Adam Charles Hovey-Grief feels like fear)
Pray for your clergy, because you may never know what they're feeling.
And, after this had happened, I kept asking myself “why”? And “what would I have have done if I had known something was wrong”?
Do you know what the main trigger was for me? Family and friends arguing.
While that set me off, I know it isn't the same for everyone.
I want y'all to understand something. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Just because you think you're at your lowest, this does not mean that you are.
And, if you're having suicidal thoughts, call 988. This number will work in both the United States and Canada. If you live outside of those jurisdictions, please look up the number for your local area.
Suicide has impacted my own family. I remember seeing a t-shirt some months ago that said “imagine a world without suicide”. Lord, make it so.
Remember the promises of Jesus when you're down, (and I have expounded more on this verse, but, right now, I just want you to focus on the text), “Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world”.
I hope this article helps. And remember, we are meant to live (Switchfoot-Meant to live)