Navigating Loss of Friend or Loved One During Christmas

Catholics are on the cusp of the Christmas celebration. It is a happy time for many. Family members long anticipate a close relative coming over on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year over presents, food, and fellowship.  

Sadly, many will see an empty chair or two at the dinner table while everyone gathers to celebrate, triggering memories of that family member, friend, or loved one who recently passed away.  Whether it’s a parent, grandparent, aunt, cousin, uncle, or friend, it can be agonizing to mourn their absence.

I know because I remember looking at empty places on Christmas Eve and Day realizing that the loved ones, I once celebrated with were no longer with me. As time has gone on, I am reminded that there lives and memories live on inside of every person they have ever loved.

While it may be easy to grieve their loss, our loved ones and friends would want us to honor their memory during Christmas.  Here are five ways to remember their loss during Christmas. I will also include some additional ideas.

Share Memories

Many find sharing the good times they had with a person comforting. Yet, it can also be painful, as it triggers a bad memory. In any case, sharing the past helps people laugh and smile, alleviating the grief of those we have lost.

For me, when I gather with family, I always enjoy listening to someone share stories about the past. Some of them centered around that of those we have lost. It went from one story and opened the door to another, and it was met with laughter from all around the table.

If memories that are shared may make one uncomfortable, it is best to offer a prayer for that loved one.

Light a Candle

I will assume that many of us plan to Keep Christ in Christmas by attending Mass on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. One thing that I have done was light a candle or two in memory of those we have lost.

Seek Support

Reach out to the parish and even the priest. If they don’t help, then it’s time to find another parish.

Visit their gravesite

One practice many would do during Christmas is to visit the grave of the deceased. When there, think of the memories you share with that person. Be sure to say a prayer for them.

Incorporate Special Decorations or Ornaments

I have witnessed or observed special ornaments that commemorate a special occasion. Some of them include one’s first Christmas, wedding anniversary, and even high school graduation.

Honoring our loved ones and even praying for them is the best practice for all Catholics during the Christmas season.

Every year when I look at my tree, I always gaze at special ornaments that recall the presence of those called home to God. We must take comfort that we will see them again.

Recite the Rosary

The rosary can be a great way to pray for all loved ones who have gone before us. When reciting the prayers at the end, consider adding this prayer

For the soul of N, eternal rest, grant unto them, O Lord. And let the perpetual light shine upon him/her/them. May their/his/her soul and the souls of the faithfully departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen

Do Something in Remembrance

Jesus reminded his apostles on the night before he died he instituted the Eucharist. It was during the Last Supper that he wants everyone to "Do this in memory of him". We are called to things in memory of all who are departed. Consider volunteering your time to help others in their name, give to a charity they love, offer a Mass for them, 

Pause, pray, and honor them.