Trial by Divorce

It is said that divorce is survivable. Past the horrible gut wrenching feeling of having your heart torn from your chest. There is hope and light within the greatest warfare that the devil has brought to the earth. As I found myself sobbing over my sins in Confession hoping that maybe, just maybe if I tell all the truth this time, the Lord would spare me. My confessor spoke the most comforting words to me I have ever heard,

“You can still inherit heaven even in divorce. You are still a husband, but you must be humble in your failings, you must own your failures and let God’s power motive you like never before. “

Divorce has shown me how deeply someone can love a person, how much God could love a sinner. As a convert, the devil's greatest weapons against me were my fears and doubts. They pulled me away from believing that God had my best interest in mind. John 13:7 says

“Jesus answered and said to him, ‘What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.’”

Out of the many things I have learned, this one is, by far, the most profound: Divorce is not about your marriage, it’s about your soul.

“The Final Confrontation between the Lord and Satan will be over Family and Marriage.” - Sister Lucia

When I first was confronted with the spiritual warfare bought about by divorce, I swung through every emotion known to man. The only thing I can compare it to, is the emotional trauma I experienced in the war in Iraq. The only other force I know to be more evil then divorce and war is the Devil himself.

My only comfort was found in prayer, but half-hearted promises to God only lasted me so long, the suffering never fully subsided.

Conviction is a matter of being weak in the soul, fear of doing the hard work that God asks of us. But I asked myself, what is stopping me from being a Holy divorced person, what is it that God is asking of me? The answer was far simplier then even I thought,

“For God so loved the world that he gavehis only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

He asked me to Love.

“Above all, let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)

Love is the last thing on the mind of a spouse facing divorce. Anger is normally the forerunner on emotions; you want to find a place to put the hurt, the embarrassment and shame. Place it on yourself. Own the failure, why? “All have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

Truly my heart goes out to all that are divorced, or going through a divorce, our trial to heaven has become more challenging, the Cross has become heavier. Thankfully, God shall never leave us if we stay true to His law and Word and we continue to love. “We love because he first loved us.” (John 4: 19)

In closing, heaven is not out of our reach, for the Lord has not forsaken the divorced. I challenge all divorced people to confess your sins before almighty God, ask Him to help you lift this Cross up for His Glory, and be faithful, that through our works that adhere to HIS commandments, that we may see a day where the evil of divorce is never condoned.

I leave you with two quotes from Matthew 19: 4-8 and the theologian Jean Vanie:

He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female' and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” They said to him, “Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss [her]?” He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." (Matthew 19: 4-8)

“We are not called by God to do extraordinary things, but to do ordinary things with extraordinary love.” ~ Jean Vanie

May the peace of our Lord be with you all.

J.M.J.