Blessed James Duckett and the Septic Tank

Blessed James Duckett is the patron saint of booksellers. He was one of those English martyrs from the time of the violent Protestant persecution of Catholics during the Elizabethan era. He was betrayed by a fellow bookseller for (GASP!) printing the Catholic Bible.

I chose Jim this week because like him, I work with books. Granted, I probably won’t be executed for checking out “Animal Farm” or “Twilight”—well maybe “Twilight” but certainly not “Animal Farm”. But he used his talents to live his faith.

One of my very few talents is imagination. I have a way seeing the world unlike normal people and luckily, I can parlay that imagination into the written word. But unlike James Duckett, I don’t always use my talent to further the Catholic faith. I use it to be snarky. Case in point: Telemarketers

At our house, we get a lot of telemarketers calling. We’ve registered with the federal “do not call” registry but yet we still get them several times a day. In my passive aggressive way, I take revenge. Here is a sample call:

TM: Our company is offering to clean your HVAC system

Me: My husband is a HVAC guy (not really but honestly, I don't know exactly what my husband does all day. As long as it's legal, I'm good)

TM: We also replace windows.

Me: I don't use Apple products

TM: No--house windows

Me: My nephew is a glazier (which is true)

TM: Septic?

Me: Sewer (lie)

TM: Clogged pipes

Me: I take fiber everyday so my pipes are clear (true)

TM: Vacuum repair?

Me: Hardwood floors. (sort of a lie)

TM: Are your gutters dirty?

Me: No, I send my kids to the roof and take the ladder away until the gutters are cleaned. Look, I admire your persistence, but I can do this all day.

TM: &$#$% (rhymes with witch)

Me: We have cats.

So instead of sparring with telemarketers, I should visualize how I can help further the Glory of God instead of playing with people who are trying to make an honest (some of them) living.