Facing the Storms of Grief, Fear and Disappointment

A few years ago, my husband, who is a deacon, was asked to give the homily at the funeral of a four-month-old baby boy. He was the grandchild of close friends and the baby of one of my daughter’s best friends. It was devastating, to say the least.

We discussed what my husband could possibly say that would comfort these dear friends, this beautiful family. It was one of the most difficult homilies he would ever have to give in his life thus far.

He read the Gospel of Mark 4: 35-41 in which Jesus calms the storm when He is in the boat with the apostles. We knew that the parents and grandparents of this child were at that moment in the boat navigating the worst storm. Their lives were being tossed and flung over waves that seemed insurmountable. My husband and I and our daughter felt like we were in that boat with them.

And it seemed our loving Lord was sleeping.

There’s no explanation that any of us could hear that would adequately make sense of this situation. It was just too painful. But the story recorded in this beautiful Gospel passage gives us something strong to hold on to.

This Gospel passage is about life—a story about fear—a story about faith. I’m sure we can all admit that at times life has been rough, maybe very rough—that we are being tossed in a storm perhaps of loss and sorrow, a storm of suffering… confusion…failure…a storm of loneliness, fear—maybe of guilt.

The apostles said to Jesus, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” They were desperate and wondering: Don’t you see what’s happening to us?!?

We’ve all echoed those words at one time or another. “Why don’t you do something, Lord? Where are You?” During our storms, Jesus may seem absent, passive, and uncaring.

But this Gospel event tells us something very much the opposite.

Jesus is in the boat with His disciples—blown around by the same wind, beaten by the same waves.

He may seem to be sleeping, but He is in the boat with them. He didn’t jump overboard or leave when the storm struck. We know He could have, but no, He stayed with them in the boat. And through every storm in our lives, Jesus stays with us.

“Quiet! Be still!” Jesus speaks to the wind and the sea. But He isn’t changing the weather as much as inviting His disciples—inviting us—to change, to grow stronger and deeper in our faith and hope in Him.

Faith does not always take us around the storm—faith does not always change the storm—but it takes us through the storm. Faith allows us to see and know that our loving Lord is there with us—He is always there with us.

In the homily my husband delivered at the baby’s funeral, he told the grief-stricken parents and family, “Open wide your hearts and souls to the all-loving Jesus Christ, who is always present in our lives—especially during the storm.” Our Lord asks us, as he asks his apostles, “Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?” This is not a reproach, but it is a reminder, and an invitation, that we must believe in His love and comfort.

It isn’t always easy. It may take some time but let Him give you His strength and hope. Accept His comfort during the storms that threaten to defeat you. Your storms may be severe and strong. It may not always be easy to allow yourself to feel Christ’s loving presence in your life or feel His peace and comfort instantaneously. But it will happen if you trust Him.

Listen to His life-affirming words, put them in your heart: “Quiet…Be Still…”

The Spirit of God blows within us more mightily than the winds of any storm that blow against us. The power of God is stronger than any waves that wash over us. The love of God is deeper than any water that threatens to drown us.

Will you put your faith in the power of the storm—or in the power of God?