Lord, I am not worthy …

As a convert to the Roman Catholic Church, it has at times left me flabbergasted that so many who claim the title of Roman Catholic don’t follow — and often times don’t even believe — the teachings of the Church.

Then, I broke the rules myself. But we’ll get to that later.

As a co-founder of the company, Totally Catholic Junk!, I shared on social media what would turn out to be one of our most reaction-drawing graphics a couple of years ago. Simply put, it had an image of an infant’s footprints underneath text that read, “Which one are you? Catholic or pro-choice? (Hint: ‘Both’ is not an option.)”

Most of the reaction was positive, but there were a few who just didn’t get it. One person posted that they were both, and chastised our company for “changing the rules.”

Somehow, there are those out there (including certain political leaders in the U.S.) who believe you can be both Catholic and support the pro-abortion cause. It’s as though the Catechism simply doesn’t exist to them.

This, of course, is an extreme. However, many of us who call ourselves Catholics, myself included, need to be reminded of how important teachings of the Church are.

One of the biggest examples is the truth of the Holy Eucharist as being the actual body and blood of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. As a convert, I tried to imagine Christ standing at the tabernacle and how I would react to such a sight. I’m sure that most, if not all, who attend Mass would fall to the ground in worship of Him. The feelings could range from the inconceivable joy of being in His presence to overwhelming fear and proclamations of our unworthiness to be in the same building as He is.

Thus, at least for me, I felt it necessary that when I enter the church for Mass and prepare to take my seat, I go completely to my knee and make the sign of the cross. While I effort to not pass judgment, I find it discouraging to see fellow Catholics who simply make a quick knee-bend (and I mean one that is slight, and barely qualifies as a bend) on their way in to their pew. I almost want to tap them on the shoulder and say, “Hey, that’s Jesus up there, remember?”

Even more vital than that, however, is the state we are in when we receive Christ in the Eucharist. Most Catholics are well aware of the fact that one must be in a state of grace, the path to which lies through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, to receive Communion. To receive Christ in the Eucharist while in a state of mortal sin only makes matters worse.

The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians: “Therefore whoever eats the bread and drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord. A person should examine himself, and so eat the bread and drink the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself.”

Yet there are many who simply take Communion as a matter of course. It is almost an automatic function, routine, without consideration of the state of one’s worthiness to do so. Some polls have indicated that a large majority of Roman Catholics in the U.S. do not believe that Christ is truly present in the Eucharist. But one can take a close look at those numbers and see the differences in belief between generations, as well as the sudden drop in those who believe being directly proportional with those who attend Mass weekly versus those who attend only a few times a year.¹

How there can be such confusion on a core teaching of the Church is … well, confusing.

After all, when we attend Mass, we speak the words before Communion: “Lord, I am not worthy that YOU should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”

Couple that with Jesus’ words, which are crystal clear: “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless your eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood you do not have life within you. Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life and I will raise him up on the last day. For My flesh is true food and My blood is true drink. Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood remains in Me and I in him.” (John 6:53-56)

How can we doubt His words? How can we not revere the Holy Eucharist as the actual body and blood of Christ? And how can we take Christ into ourselves when not in a state of grace?

The simple answer to each of those questions is: We can’t.

I can’t.

While I continue to attend Mass, believe completely in the real presence of Christ and pray daily, I must confess to you, my brothers and sisters, that I made a choice that leaves me unworthy to accept the Eucharist.

I continue to work toward being back in a state of grace. But until that task is completed, I must remain mindful of the fact that I am unworthy that He should enter under my roof.

While it has been difficult, this time during which I have refrained from taking Communion has also blessed me as I’ve reflected on just how much I miss it. It has also filled me with a sense of fear for all those who continue to take Communion even while in a state of mortal sin.

We each have our own burdens to bear, and our own sins to confess. I urge each of you who, like me, claims the title “Roman Catholic” to take the time to reflect on the true presence of Christ and on their own status. Attend Blessed Adoration, make Reconciliation of more regular part of your life, and thank God every day for the gift of His Son — both His sacrifice and His true presence in every tabernacle around the world.

He's there, always waiting for you.

¹ Information taken from the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University report as well as a Gallup poll cited by Archbishop Michael J. Sheehan.