Mary's Passion Part 1

A few weeks ago I had two ladies come visit my bar right before closing time. Not wishing to be rude, I served them. As I was cleaning up we started conversing about work and life.

When I mentioned I studied Theology and Marriage and Family our conversation then centered on their children. They mentioned that their daughters cannot find any good men and how their sons are in their late thirties, early forties and still single, not to mention lonely. The concern these two wonderful mothers felt for their children was palpable. It is not the first time I have heard it. I have spoken to other parents who have watched their children fall away from the Church, spend time in prison, suffer an addiction to porn, drugs, alcohol or sex, get a divorce, you name it. The list goes on and on.

As it always does, the conversation with these ladies came back to one question, “What can I do to help them?”

I would like to share an email I sent to a friend of mine who asked the very same question a couple months back:

There is a wonderful scene in the movie The Passion, which illustrates this dynamic of a mother’s concern for her child. As Jesus is carrying his cross on the way to Calvary, Mary, his mother is following behind him. She is soon forced away by the crowds. She tells John, the beloved apostle to get her closer to him.

John takes her through an alleyway where she witnesses her son fall to the ground while being yelled at, cursed and spat upon. He is struggling to get up, part of me even wonders if he wants to get up.

Our Lady looks his way and then she turns the other direction with her back to him. Who can blame her? What mother would want to see her child being beaten down, cursed at or spat upon? There is a part of all of us that wants to turn the other away and, like Pilate, wash our hands of it. Many times it is easier living in denial.

Mary never lived in denial. But part of me wonders if her Immaculate Heart nearly reached the breaking point at seeing her son fall a second time. However, as we know Mary’s heart never did break. As Christ’s Passion continued, her heart only expanded in love, tenderness and mercy.

John sees his master fallen. He witnesses the reaction of the mother he loves and with tears in his eyes he prods her once again, "Mother." He does this ever so gently, ever so lovingly and tenderly. When he does this he awakens her motherly care and concern. Amidst the blows to her heart, she no longer hesitates, but rushes as fast as she can to his side. It seems almost as if the Holy Spirit is pushing her towards him.

Just thinking about this scene brings tears to my eyes. She reaches her son and falls to the ground beside him. Notice, she does not stand over him to shame him. She falls with Him and experiences the tragedy of our fallen nature alongside him.

This is what any good mother does with her child. When the child skins his or her knee, the mother does not shame the child. She comes down to their level, wipes the tears from their eyes, assures them everything will be okay, bandages the wound and then kisses it. As it is with power only mothers have, her kiss makes everything better.

Mary came down to the level of her Son at that moment and met him where he was at. She shared in his wounds and his struggle. She shared the depth of human despair, his feelings of rejection, pain and this hell of human hopelessness which we put him in. She shared in all of it.

With tears in her eyes, what did she say to him? Two simple words which gave him hope: "I'm here. I'm here." She uttered the words of comfort every child needs to hear. They are words of reassurance that everything will be alright, that everything will somehow work out. She said this when he was beaten, bloodied and suffered every form of abuse imaginable.

He was stripped of everything. And the miracle here is that just by her presence, just by her simple words of assurance, she gave him the last ounce of strength he needed to get up and carry his cross and mission to fulfillment.

What did he say to her? He cupped her face, embracing the gift of her love as well as her willingness to suffer with him, and he uttered the most profound words written in scripture, "Look Mother, I make all things new!" She passed her feminine strength on to him, and it allowed him to get up and bring new life out of the death he was enduring.

How does this apply to modern day motherhood? We will examine that next!