A Letter to Today’s Teens and their Parents from a Catholic Mom…

Dear Teenagers,

You are growing up in a particularly challenging time.  I say this, because never has a generation been born with technology as it is, practically in their hands.  Instead of a silver spoon, it is a cell phone, tablet or gadget.  Streaming services of every kind abound.  Everything is seemingly at your fingertips, a non-stop information train, and yet people in our society are more disconnected than ever before.  Yes, I can practically hear your eyes rolling, but hear me out.  As an adult who grew up without and then suddenly with, all this new technology, I feel I have a unique perspective of the benefits and deficits of what is happening.  I, like many people enjoy the convenience of my smart phone, I always have a computer in my pocket.  I quite literally could work from anywhere at any time if I chose to do so.  However, that is also a big problem.  I have seen family members and friends in the same room texting each other instead of conversing in person.  Even I have texted my teens to do a task for me instead of going down the stairs to the basement simply because I didn’t feel like going down the stairs.  At the same time, I get tired of being tethered to the world all the time.  I sometimes miss the days when board games, riding my bike, going for hikes and playgrounds used to be the natural solution to quell boredom or feeling hyper, and going to church for me was like going to a second home.  I spent a lot of time there as a teen participating in the youth group. 

Technology in and of itself is not bad, just like money as an inanimate object isn’t bad, nor are most objects.  However, it’s how these things are being utilized, and who is using them, that can be detrimental to one’s health and wellbeing; the issue with our fast paced, must have it now, do whatever feels good culture is usually bad for the consumer in one way or another.  There is plenty of research you can do on your own to see how it is especially affecting the mental health of our youth and some I know personally have had to deal with the fallout. 

So with that in mind, let me ask you: When was the last time you prayed?  Do you remember?  When was the last time you went to church, or participated in a church youth group in some way?  Or how about;  when was the last time you listened to a song that didn’t glorify sex, drugs or alcohol?  What about your grandparents, have you called them, texted them (I mean most grandparents are pretty “with it” these days).  What about your friends? Do they make you feel like you must participate in what they do to be their friend?   Have you gone to a movie that isn’t about sex, hook up culture or gender ideology?  Have you ever even considered going to something that isn’t?  Why or why not?  Do you believe in God?  How about Heaven and Hell?  Are you the least bit worried about the condition of your soul and where you may eventually end up?  Do you care?  Why not?  Has anyone ever talked to you about the importance of faith, prayer and eternity? 

So, then you may be wondering, wow those are heavy questions and now what?

It is in fact simple:  Faith, Family and then everything else. That does not mean easy.

It is our job as your parents to speak truth and love to the best of our ability. We won’t always agree with your choices, but it is our job as your parents to point out destructive or potentially harmful behavior and choices, especially where your soul and eternity are concerned, no matter your age. When you are legal adult age, you may have to suffer the real time consequences of your choices and actions and you may take or leave our advice/concerns but remember what we tell you always (and should), come from love. Jesus loves you and we love you. Believe it.  Know it.  And in our home, our kids are always welcome, anytime, forever.

God gave us the gift of Free Will and so we all have a choice. In fact, life is about choices and those choices will in the end lead you to Heaven or Hell which is why Faith, family, truth, and love are all important. And you can still live your faith with truth and love, regardless of circumstances and know that God has a design for your life, but you must be open to listening to Him. He gave you all amazing gifts, and it is our wish for you to use those gifts to honor God. We will support you however we can with that.

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Dear Parents,

If you aren’t asking the above questions to your teenagers, do it, and do it as soon as possible.  I am not going to lie, it’s hard, uncomfortable and little bit scary, especially if you haven’t spoken about the issue of faith, prayer and eternity and the consequences of our actions in this life.  Do it and do it now.  Why the urgency?  Because the devil is after our kids, and as a culture, we’re handing them over, readily even if we don’t realize it. 

The devil is attacking families, especially children. They are easy targets. However, we MUST teach them that while Jesus sat with sinners He DID NOT participate in the SIN. He prayed, preached and He loved them out and away from sin. He spoke truth and He still speaks truth.  We are in a culture where the devil is sowing discord and confusion, because he’s been let in through the front door, screen and activity. This does not mean we start banning screens, phones, friends or activities.  It means we must teach our children to be strong disciples of Christ.  They must be strong in their faith or life will be harder than it already is and it is never too late.  It might be slow; you might get push back.  That’s ok.  Plant the seed of Christ in their hearts and pray for your child. Always Speak the truth of Christ and always do it with love.  

In Closing,

Maybe we parents owe our kids an apology for not consistently leading by example, for not putting prayer first, for not teaching them how and when to pray, for maybe seeming embarrassed by it. It’s not easy to be faithful, faith filled and to live faithfully.  Jesus said the path to Heaven is narrow for a reason.  (Matthew 7:13-14 OSB).

Faith and prayer, God the Father and Jesus the Son, should aways come before personal desires. What we watch, read and listen to is important. Would any of us (teens included), be able to show our priest our texts, what shows we’ve watched or music we’ve listened to and not be embarrassed or ashamed?

If not, then maybe we need to rethink what we are participating in and who we are spending time with as a family and individually.  No friendship is worth sacrificing our souls for and no media, literature or music is either.

Please join me now in prayer saying, from this point on, we commit ourselves and our children to God, living by example and living a faith filled life and striving to be holy. God calls us to be Saints. Be SAINTS! Amen.

Sincerely,

Stella Shea

Mom, Autism Advocate, Writer and Daughter of the King!