Let's Give Our Kids a Sense of the Sacred

I read a Facebook conversation the other day discussing the style of Mass that people find appeals most to their children. Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, many of the parents said that Masses full of artificial elements meant to appeal to children were not the ones where their children were most drawn into the Mass. Instead, many of the parents commented that the Masses that were best for the children's participation were the ones with "all the bells and whistles". Here are some aspects they mentioned as appealing for kids: incense, chant, stained glass that is beautiful and easy to identify, beautiful music. 

Noteably absent from the list? Children's liturgy and the cry room.

We have spent so much time and effort trying to make Church appealing to children by making it feel like home or school, creating spaces for them where they can sit apart and do their "kid" thing. Spaces where they feel welcomed in their childishness and "at home". But we have been mistaken.

Because, first, we do not need to make children welcome in Church. By the very nature of the fact that is a Church founded by Jesus, who called the children to Himself, they are welcomed. We call a Church "the Father's house", indicating that there are children present. In fact, in Church, we are all children, and we are all welcome.

Second, we are not meant to feel at home at Church, at least not in the sense that we feel comfortable behaving the way we do at home while at Church. Stepping into Church should make us exhale with wonder. We should be aware that our surroindings have changed when we entered those doors. It should bring us to quiet attention. It should bring us to our knees. And our children should feel the same way. They may not respond to it in the way that we do as adults, but a child should have the sense of quiet hush that is adoration when he enters a Church.

In same way, the celebration of the Holy Mass should heighten that experience. Sacred music that makes a child look up to the sky wondering where it could possibly be coming from. The smell of wafting incense and rising smoke. Shining threads woven into the priest's vestments that catch the light at the altar. Angels kneeling at the sides of the tabernacle in majestic glory. And rays sifting through stained glass in varied hues that tell the story of our faith. Bells that ring out and call us to be mindful that something sacred is happening here.

This is what Church should evoke for a child, really, for all of us.

Churches are not meant to make us feel at home, and Mass is not at all like our family table. Our Churches are meant to elevate our senses beyond this world, and give us eyes to see and ears to hear the things of eternal significance. Children are smart, and they are naturally programmed to experience awe and wonder. Their capacity to understand and respond to the sacred is way more advanced than we have given them credit for, I think.

They do not need another environment artificially geared toward their needs. They do not need to feel at home at Church in the sense that Church does not evoke a different experience than home. What children need is a sense of the sacred--an awareness that what happens at Church is differenent than what happens anywhere else outside of Church. Stepping into Church should inspire a sense of his heavenly home, not his earthly one.

We need to allow our kids to grow up with a sense of the sacred. In our world, where our daily lives are more and more marred by humanity's faults and sins, we need a place set apart that reminds of the hope of eternity, that lifts our senses beyond the world around us to the glory and wonder and majesty of the throne of heaven. And our kids need to grow up experiencing that same sense.

It may not prevent the inevitable toddler meltdown at Mass or the constant fidgeting that merits a walk outside for a few moments during Mass. But giving our children a knowledge of what it means to enter a place where Christ is present, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, and the holy hush of awe and wonder that evokes, albeit momentarily, is the planting of a seed of reverence and adoration that will have mature with time.

Whatever Church you enter with your child, whether you feel it is the perfect design archtecturally or has all the elements you would like or not, find something about it that gives you a glimpse of God's glory and quiets your heart. Then share that with your child. Whisper the sacred into his ears and share the wonder of the Father's house with him. Give him a sense of how special this place is. 

It is a gift you will never regret giving.