What Shall I Wear Today?
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Last night I had a flare up with my husband, over a long running issue of him pointing out ‘what I forget to do’ while I go behind him and undo what he has left undone and I don’t say anything. (It is not use, habits are hard to change.)
“You forgot to shut your door, and that is why it is chilly in here.”
Explosive retort back as I was very tired after working three shifts in a row. (Note I am rationalizing my bad behavior.)
This 'fire' simmered within as I walk off and struggling and praying. I washed dishes after pounding the sink with closed fists and silently let God have what I could not speak for it could just stir the fire more. I couldn’t sleep then, due to anger still within and prayed for God to help me forgive my husband and surrender to God all the times those petty remarks sting so hard. It is Holy week, and I thank of how Jesus was treated, I think of not only carrying my cross, but also drinking from the cup that the Father hands me. And even though I am saying Yes Lord and thank you Lord for the cross, the cup---the human still remained sad and ANGRY as I long for Bob to notice me in a positive way. (As do our children. Hmm instead of eggs and bunnies ---maybe hugs and praises---need to be found Easter Day.)
This morning, God sent the needed ‘hug’ in the Gospel today. Peter is passionately telling Jesus ---“I will never betray You.” Yet he does, as we very well know.
As I read the Gospel, I see that today before the sunsets in my own life----I too will be betraying Jesus every time “I loose it over hurtful remarks.” I started to think then of the many ways we can betray Jesus in the little ways, just as we can love Him in little ways.
(Interesting, I have been saying a novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower of Jesus who is known for her ‘little ways’ of living love. I have the book, “Living the Little Way of Love by John Nelson. Guess it is time to read this carefully.
Maybe I need to also buy a rooster that God can use to remind me by his crowing that I am ‘betraying Jesus’ again. No need to do that, I will just ask my Guardian Angel to make a particular noise that I can associate when straying in betraying directions. Thank You God for again rescuing me through Your Word and ever faithful—“I will never betray you child” love.
Betray Jesus? No Never---yeah right.
Born the youngest of nine children, raised VERY Catholic across the street from Immaculate Heart of Mary church and school—Mom and Dad led by example and word their FAITH in God and saw to it that I was given 12 years of Catholic Education. (Mount St. Mary’s Academy/1965)
But, most importantly, because of my parents’ spiritual renewal after attending Cursillo Weekends, I too went on a retreat at our beloved Subiaco Abbey in Arkansas and there, at age 20, gave my life totally, surrendering all to my Lord and best Friend. This was my “Pentecostal” event that left me, like all the early Christians, on fire with God’s love and forever changed.
My husband Robert and I have been married for 54 this year in a marriage arranged by God. We have 8 children, two in heaven, 24 grandchildren, and 28 great-grandchildren. The story of our life together can be found in a book titled “My Journey, My Cross-As the Journals End,” published by Westbow Press . Our life together has been one awesome up and down roller coaster ride which enriched my heart with so many of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. I have found that the only way, Wisdom, Understanding, Words of Knowledge, Discernment, and Healing can be received is first by experiencing in your life the hurts of others. (and you yourself a sword will pierce)* so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” Luke 2 v 35.
God has blessed me also many other talents and skills--but sometimes, blessings/gifts can and have caused problems or conflict in my life, as I am human and all too quickly that part of me shows up. Thank You God that You also show up!
Because of the many ways that He has rescued me, and taught me through my trials and tribulations and continuous cries for “Help”--- a weekly podcast radio show called “It’s Me, God” can still be found on www.radiotitans.com
