“Train the young in the way they should go; even when old,
they will not swerve from it.”- Proverbs 22:6
I was recently asked to speak to a large group of parents about the faith life of their family. As I looked around the room, I saw a table of dads decked out in their best Eagle’s gear. Before they separated the parents and the children, who were to have their own religion education class during the same time, I noticed that each dad had a son or daughter with some type of Eagle’s gear.
I approached the table and gently stated “so Eagles’ fans,huh?” I watched the pride that welled up at that table as the dads puffed up their chests, and the kids started talking about the game that afternoon. You could tell that they had been fans for a long time. There was an immediate comfortability that came into the conversation, as they shared their love for the Eagles. It was a topic that they were content to share their knowledge of, and it automatically created a relationship between myself and their table.
It reminded me of my own family. As soon as our girls were toddlers, they had Notre Dame cheerleading outfits for the Saturday games. My son’s wardrobe included multiple Notre Dame t shirts and sweatshirts and I often replenished my husband’s Notre Dame gear at Christmas time. There were Notre Dame pajamas, jackets, tumblers, and decals for our car. One year I even bought him a ND license plate frame. Our children could sing the Notre Dame fight song, and we “pregamed” with Irish tunes or the Notre Dame song CD. When the opportunity came to visit the Notre Dame campus with his brothers, it was the event of the year for my husband. At our local co-op, my husband was proudly known as the dad in the Notre Dame track suit.
We all love to rally behind a team that we believe in. Maybe it’s a sports team that represents our hometown. Or maybe it’s a family tradition to root for that team. Either way, the zeal builds with each game of the season. We hold firm in our belief in our beloved team, even if we are alone in a room of opponents. Our voices chant praises for our team, and we feel the disappointment that a loss brings.
Little children learn to love these sports teams as they seek to model the people in their lives that love them. An 18 month old screaming in excitement over an Eagle’s touchdown, has no real knowledge of what is happening, but they follow the passion that they see in the face of their parent. They want to love what we love. They want to share in the joy of loving something that their parent’s love.
Our parents are the first role models in our lives. St. John Paul II wrote that “parents have been appointed by God himself as the first and principal educators of their children.” So what are we teaching them about the faith in our actions?
As I stood at the podium, and peered into the faces of these parents, I knew what the Lord wanted me to convey to them. They could not pass down a faith that they did not possess themselves. If they did not love their faith, or truly love Christ, their children could see through it. These children had seen their passion, and their love of the game. They had witnessed their parent’s “alive” in their love for something, and they would easily realize that their parents did not feel that way about the faith if they didn’t.
However, I didn’t believe that the parents were choosing not to love their faith. I don’t think they understood many of the basic tenants of the faith and that makes it hard to really pass down. It is hard for us to love a faith that we don’t understand.The greatest gift that we can give our children is to start learning about our faith, and truly living it. We can demonstrate to our children that we desire to know the Lord in a deeper way. They can begin to witness the probing of our faith, our attentiveness at Mass, and our listening to others speak about the faith.
We can help grow our children’s knowledge and curiosity about the Catholic faith by demonstrating through our lives, how we seek Him out. When we stand in line for confession, little eyes watch us. When we bow our heads to pray, it’s like putting on our team’s jersey’s for “game time”. We can show our children that we acknowledge our need for the Lord’s presence in our lives.
“The Fear of the Lord is a strong defense,
a refuge even for one’s children.”- Proverbs 14:26
There are several practical things we can begin doing that will set a positive example to our children.
Dust off the bible and start to read it.
We, as Catholics, can get a bad rap about our lack of knowledge of scripture. However, if we want to know what Jesus did and said, we need to open up our bibles and start to learn. We can introduce reading of scripture into our prayer time. Our children should see us read scripture, just like we read other books. We can make sure that they have their own bibles, with personalized tabs separating all the different books.
Be intentional in our home.
If someone walked in your home, would they know that you are a Catholic Christian? Our home environment should be a reflection of the work that the Lord is doing within our hearts. We need order and peace. We can put up signs over our mantle, and along our bookshelves that quote scripture verses. We can create a “prayer corner” in our home where we keep our bible, rosaries, and other books to aid our prayer time. We can encourage our children to have prayer spaces in their rooms as well. We can model how to have a place to be alone with God, while you invite Him into your day.
Be deliberate in our actions.
We need to take an honest assessment about whether our words and actions line up with being a Catholic/Christian. Do I model the behavior that I am striving for? Where is God calling me to be more prudent in the words that come from my mouth? Where do I lean into frustration and anger rather than self-control and order? We must strive to demonstrate, by our actions, the loving disposition of the Trinity.
Prepare our children for Mass.
“Pre-game” in your car for Mass by reading the First, Second and the Gospel for the Mass that day. Talk with your family about your thoughts about the readings. Set expectations for your children’ s behavior in Mass. Remind them that they are “visiting Jesus” and its time to give Him our love and attention.
We all want a better life for our children then we had. With that desire, comes a desire for our children to have a deep faith that is built on a strong and firm foundation. However, that faith is built through the witnessing of the faith lives of their parents. They will see how we live our lives. We either profession our faith with our words and deeds or we don’t.
Let us strive to create “little fans” of the faith, who will proudly sport a “Jesus saves” tshirt when their sports team isn’t playing. Let’s encourage our children, by our very lives, to love the Creator.