Literacy Problems, Truth, and Butker

I recently watched a video that explained that one aspect of literacy is the ability to discern the intended audience of a piece of rhetoric, whether written or spoken. It feels like as we look around the internet, we can see this aspect of literacy plainly lacking.

Enter: this commencement address by Harrison Butker, the kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs and a fellow Catholic. He spoke to a crowd of young Catholic graduates at Benedictine college about many things. Here are some passages that I think are important to address. I encourage you to read the full transcript for yourself if you haven’t already.

He talks about “…the sorts of things we are told in polite society to not bring up. You know, the difficult and unpleasant things. But if we are going to be men and women for this time in history, we need to stop pretending that the "Church of Nice" is a winning proposition. We must always speak and act in charity, but never mistake charity for cowardice.”

As Catholics, we believe that there is a Truth beyond “my truth”, and that “my truth” and “your truth” pales in comparison to THE Truth. With only relative truths, the divine order of the world is seen as just another version of the chaos before creation. With that worldview, everything comes into being through chance, and there is no God. For us who believe that God the Father created all things, Truth has to exist, and it’s for OUR benefit. This Truth gives us a reason to finish the race that lies before us.

I think that upholding Truth requires a kind of quiet braveness that is not accusatory, does not attack character, does not make assumptions, and is not divisive by its own nature. Truth DOES divide. But the way Truth is presented should not be divisive. Instead of being self-righteous or screamed from the rooftops, it should be gently and steadily advanced through Christian witness.

When Truth is presented in such a way, it plants the seeds to open hearts and minds. To do this REQUIRES bravery. It is not cowardly. It is direct and loving and shows that you respect the dignity of the human person SO MUCH, that you won’t allow them to live in ignorance of the Truth.

“There even was an award-winning film called Silence, made by a fellow Catholic, wherein one of the main characters, a Jesuit priest, abandoned the Church, and as an apostate when he died is seen grasping a crucifix, quiet and unknown to anyone but God. As a friend of Benedictine College, His Excellency Bishop Robert Barron, said in his review of the film, it was exactly what the cultural elite want to see in Christianity -- private, hidden away, and harmless.”

As Christians, we cannot allow the Truth of the Gospel to be private, hidden away, and harmless. Too much is at stake! My soul and yours, to start, but it extends further than that. A lack of Truth is what allows the hurts and abuse of the Christian Church as institutions and denominations to be hidden away, from abuse scandals, to mishandling of finances, to unjust treatment, all the way down to the everyday failings we ourselves commit, whether known or unknown to others.

So how do we remedy this in our daily lives? Every day. One act at a time. One prayer at a time. With emotional maturity. By preaching the Gospel at all times, and when necessary, using words. Our very lives should observably distinguish us as believers and guardians of the Truth. This is why Catholics and our Orthodox brothers and sisters have the saints: as companions who help us to imitate Christ through their historical witness and their prayers for us.

I will also note that my husband and I planned our wedding Mass to witness to the beauty and Truth of our Catholic faith through a focus on the Cross from beginning to end. I processed in following the Crucifix, and we said our vows with our hands on a Crucifix, touching the body of our Savior, a gesture that served as a visual representation of the metaphysical Covenant we made with God and each other. 

"But make no mistake, before we even attempt to fix any of the issues plaguing society, we must first get our own house in order, and it starts with our leaders. The bishops and priests appointed by God as our spiritual fathers must be rightly ordered. There is not enough time today for me to list all the stories of priests and bishops misleading their flocks, but none of us can blame ignorance anymore and just blindly proclaim that “That's what Father said.” Because sadly, many priests we are looking to for leadership are the same ones who prioritize their hobbies or even photos with their dogs and matching outfits for the parish directory."

While I think that the last sentence is a broad stretch (priests can absolutely be good spiritual fathers and still fun, as long as the fun is not put before their very serious duties), I do agree that there are many, too many, among the Catholic clergy and even among other Christian denominations, who are not rightly ordered. As the laity, we have a DUTY to verse ourselves in Truth, through Scripture and Tradition, in case our leaders fail us. The Triune God is the ultimate authority, not our favorite priests, not the pope, not our pastors, not ourselves. People are fallible (yes even the pope, unless speaking Ex Cathedra), weak, and sinful. But for some reason when those who are leading us fail in their duties, we are surprised. We need to take responsibility for ourselves AND guide each other to Salvation…and it takes courage to confront a leader when they stray from Truth.

“It is not prudent as the laity for us to consume ourselves in becoming amateur theologians so that we can decipher this or that theological teaching — unless, of course, you are a theology major. We must be intentional with our focus on our state in life and our own vocation. And for most of us, that's as married men and women. Still, we have so many great resources at our fingertips that it doesn't take long to find traditional and timeless teachings that haven't been ambiguously reworded for our times. Plus, there are still many good and holy priests, and it's up to us to seek them out.”

Okay this is when things start to get really good. Because Harrison brings up a key word: VOCATION. And I love that word, and everything that it entails! A vocation is the state of life that you are called to in this moment, and that can change. This is why our vocation requires careful discernment. It can ALSO be the purpose for WHY we are in a certain state of life. The Church recognizes these states of life as vocations: single, married, Holy Orders, religious, and consecrated virgin.

As someone who graduated as a theology major, I do love learning about Church teaching (this should surprise no one who knows me). I learn new things every day. BUT, this does not take precedence over my current vocation as a married woman and the responsibilities that come with this state of life. But if God willing I become a mother some day, this does not supercede my vocation as wife; rather, I take on my vocation of both wife and mother. This is just one example.

Another important phrase about vocations to single out, Harrison says that “…for most of us, that's as married men and women.“

FOR MOST OF THE GRADUATES. And honestly most of the population. Not all of us! But *most* of us. It’s an educated guess.

He then goes on to talk about how lack of leadership is damaging the Church and therefore our culture, speaks highly of Benedictine College as a place where Christ is at the center and, therefore, people who desire to fulfill their vocations are nourished in every way, and the importance of being locked in on your specific vocation. He even says, “It is essential that we focus on our own state in life, whether that be as a layperson, a priest, or religious.”

He then says, “For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now about to cross this stage and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”

As a young Catholic woman, I EMPHATICALLY AGREE. I went to a Catholic, liberal arts, Benedictine college myself. I went specifically hoping I would get the job I currently have. And I’m so grateful! But I am increasingly thinking to the future and I’ve surprised myself. My current career looks nothing like 21-year-old-me thought it would. And the future that I now envision is also much different. Why? Because I’ve grown into my vocation. Everything I’ve done in my life has led me to here through God’s providence…my college experience, heartbreaks, my current career, the ones I’m building, all my projects. AND YET. Despite the things I’ve proved to myself and others, despite advocating for myself, despite rejecting the many lies society has tried to feed me, despite the fact that change is scary and the thought of bringing another human into the world terrifies me, I remind myself, that I was scared to go to college. I was scared to graduate and start my first real job. I was scared to move out of my parents’ house and into my first apartment. I was scared to advocate for myself and my health. I was scared to commit and get married. Yet I have done all of that and much more, and when it’s time for me to continue on to the next stage of my vocation, it will happen, I will adjust, and life will carry on like it does. Because God planned it that way, for me. Just like He does for each of us.

So I read this passage that Harrison spoke and I applaud him. I note that he did not say that women should not have careers, or that this isn’t a good aspiration for women. He congratulates them. He says that some of them may have successful careers. And he makes a guess that the MAJORITY of the young women at this INTENTIONALLY CATHOLIC, TRADITIONAL college, might be most excited about the vocation of being a wife and mother, that may await them. Not all of them. But the majority.

He then goes on to speak with obvious adoration, “I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I'm beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the the most important titles of all: homemaker.”

He speaks of HIS WIFE’S experience and vocation. And how this has called him into his vocation of being a man worthy of her. AND. AND, how he OWES HER for the life that he is currently living. How incredible! How awesome for both of them! And dare I say, how reminiscent of the masculinity that St. Joseph models for every man, as one who followed the voice of God, provided for his wife, and was the earthly father to Christ. The message Harrison gives these young women is one of the empowerment his wife has found in being a wife and mother: a homemaker. Among the many other titles she holds, and accomplishments of her life, these are the ones she holds dearest. Because it’s her vocation. And many of the girls in that audience will share in that vocation as well.

I want to add one more note. He says that SHE says her life truly began when she started fulfilling her vocation. Again, this is not everyone’s vocation. Some people may not marry. Some may not have children. Some may have careers or enter other states of life. But the joy of having your life truly begin is not limited specifically to married life or life as a parent. This joy is yours to discover when you begin YOUR vocation, specifically chosen and hand made for you by God, whatever it may be. And no vocation, no matter how abundant the joy, is devoid of suffering in the midst.

“I say all of this to you because I have seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God's will in their life. Isabelle's dream of having a career might not have come true, but if you asked her today if she has any regrets on her decision, she would laugh out loud, without hesitation, and say, “Heck, No.””

Case in point. She is fulfilling what she knows is HER specific vocation, and she’s happy in it. She doesn’t regret not having a career.

He doesn’t single the women out, either. He offers an equally compelling message to the young men, saying, “To the gentlemen here today: Part of what plagues our society is this lie that has been told to you that men are not necessary in the home or in our communities. As men, we set the tone of the culture, and when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction, and chaos set in. This absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see all around the nation. Other countries do not have nearly the same absentee father rates as we find here in the U.S., and a correlation could be made in their drastically lower violence rates, as well.””

As much as our media and culture likes to belittle men, men are important. And just as we can't make absolute claims about women and motherhood or clergy and abuse, we cannot claim that all men are a problem. We NEED good men to call out bad men. We NEED men to be good leaders. We NEED men to be good husbands, fathers, single lay people, clergy, citizens, HUMANS. We need men to step into true masculinity. Toxic masculininty has no place within true masculinity.

He actually speaks to that idea in the next paragraph when he continues, “Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things. Never settle for what is easy. You might have a talent that you don't necessarily enjoy, but if it glorifies God, maybe you should lean into that over something that you might think suits you better. I speak from experience as an introvert who now finds myself as an amateur public speaker and an entrepreneur, something I never thought I'd be when I received my industrial engineering degree.”

I would argue that as much as people like to say that Ephesians 5:21-33 is harmful to women, I think it’s only because the second half of this passage is ignored. Women are to be subordinate to their husbands…IF their husbands love them as Christ loves the Church. Christ died for the Church. He died for us. The men have the harder job here! And that responsibility requires much sacrifice all on its own. That is the implication of what Harrison is saying.

He then provides his opinion on things that also helped him grow in his specific vocation, like the Traditional Latin Mass, warns of challenges that the newly graduated might face, poses some important questions to them, encourages them, gives appropriate thanks, and then ends his address with this,

“Make no mistake: You are entering into mission territory in a post-God world, but you were made for this. And with God by your side and a constant striving for virtue within your vocation, you too can be a saint.

Christ is King.

To the Heights.”

Which was met by thunderous applause, and also much controversy in the following days.

So why the controversy? From all of the various takes I have seen on social media, I think the core issue is what I talked about at the beginning of this series: the lack of literacy to discern the intended audience.

We live in a culture where we each are given a voice that is very easily amplified through social media. Where we are told that our opinion matters. That we are special and unique. But these things are understood in the most superficial way possible. The identity that we have in Christ, as a son or daughter of God the Father, is what makes us special and unique. From Him comes our whole being. But somehow this Truth has been watered down to the point that whenever a person feels left out from the intended audience of something, it is automatically deemed offensive, hateful, toxic, non-inclusive, etc.

So many of the people who are so upset about this commencement address, are upset because they either:

1.) Did not read or watch this address in it’s entirety and therefore have only seen the media’s intentional conflation of statements, manipulation of meaning, and absolutist summaries (hello Satan, master of manipulation and father of lies).

2.) Were not the intended audience for this address.

3.) Feel that their specific circumstances were not acknowledged and therefore their sacrifices are not being recognized.

4.) Are condemning Harrison in order to separate themselves from his statements because they’re worried about how it might affect their reputation or that of their organization/school/ministry.

5.) All of the above or at least some combination.

So what do we do in a culture that is not literate enough to discern intended audiences? In a culture that is encouraged to be so self-centered that we invalidate the experiences of others, and invalidate Truth because it doesn’t align with “my truth”? I’m not really sure. But I’ve been mulling over this concept for weeks now and this commencement address and its aftermath is a perfect example. I’m curious to know what others think of all of this, so feel free to respectfully share your thoughts in the comments!