Hauntings from the Past

Hauntings from the Past

Eileen Renders                                    March 2024

   As we mature, grow, and age, we often find that in those times, when we are feeling low due to sickness, disappointment, or other not-so-positive issues, we backtrack and reflect on our beginnings in life and in particular, when we embarked on our independent journey to find out exactly who we are. As we grow into adulthood we recognize that we are often changing our perspectives and priorities.  Of course, these feelings can present a bit of confusion and insecurities. We may become centered on a quest to discover what it is we like about ourselves and what we desire to change about ourselves.

   As the years pass and we age, science tells us it is our long-term memory that will remain with us until old age. Our short-term memory quickly fades, and involves most likely, a different storage compartment within our brain.

   Therefore, this reflection that takes us further back into the past than we would rather travel can stir up many unpleasant memories. Times when we may have said, thought, or done something we truly regret.

   Most of us have made the sacrament of Reconciliation sincerely, and know that we have received absolution and that God has forgiven us. If God loves us so much to forgive us of our sins, why can we not forgive ourselves?

  These negative feelings can lead to self-loathing. Most importantly we must live in today, this moment, and recognize that without forgiving ourselves of our past mistakes we stir up emotions of unworthiness of God’s love. These feelings separate us from God. There is not one of us sinners on this earth that is worthy of God’s love as we were all born into life with original sin.

  One positive way of accepting our imperfections is to consider this thought that I propose to you, and it goes like this; “Life is not so much about where we came from, or who we are today, it is much more about who we are becoming!”

   In retrospect, it is very often easy to see our faults and mistakes, but understanding that when we made the biggest wrong choices in our lives, some may have been hurting, seeking acceptance, being wrongfully influenced, or even thoughtfully manipulated into not seeing too clearly our choices and the consequences of those choices. If we truly have learned from our bad choices and have become stronger disciples of Christ, we have moved to higher ground, and we are showing God that He is now the focus and priority in our lives.

   With our newfound spirituality, it is wise to leave the negativity of one’s past where it belongs, in the past. We only have today.