Reflecting on One Year of Official Dating Six Key Tips

Writer’s Note: Like an article written in August of 2023, the M is for me. The H is for my girlfriend who offers some insights on the dating experience.  

One year ago, I wrote an article navigating what appeared to be another Valentine’s Day single. Little did I know was that it didn’t age well. Just two days after it was posted, everything changed. Behind the scenes, I was getting to know a genuine human being who would eventually love me for who I am, and everything changed. In fact, we offered suggestions and tips for dating during the sixth month mark.

Now, we are back to share more. I must say that we have learned a lot from each other and just with relationships. Indeed, we have much to share with everyone as we hope it inspires many to date for value, not money and pride. We want to share six key tips to help those discerning the relationship.

Closeness to the Sacrament

H: Everything that Jesus taught, preached, and performed is still present in all the Sacraments of the Church. Thus, it is very essential to stick to the Sacraments. I and Mickey met at the Cathedral for their 11AM Mass for our first date. We’ve been going to Sunday Mass together for the past couple of months, and I definitely know that it is not just the two of us in this relationship, but three, I, Mickey, and Christ. And as Pope St. John Paul II states: “Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure.” We for sure feel and enjoy that adventure with Christ in the Eucharist.

M: Always go to Mass. Develop the habit of going to Mass, confession, and adoration together. The sacraments are transformative for every Catholic that helps us become like Christ.

Private devotions

H: After I realized that I was called to family life, I always used to ask the Blessed Mother’s and St. Joseph’s intercession to help me find a Catholic man at God’s perfect timing who loves Mary and Joseph a lot.

Now that I look back, when together, or especially while going through some tough situations in life, I and Mickey invoke the Blessed Mother together through the Holy Rosary. We enjoy long walks, holding hands together with the Rosary, and praying it together. I’ve always felt our Blessed Mother’s presence and it brings a lot of peace afterwards. Where Mary is, I’m sure that you can find Joseph and Christ there too. With this one-year journey of our official date I realize the power of the Holy Rosary and the importance of holding our spiritual Mother’s and father’s hand.

M: There is nothing wrong with invoking Mary and Joseph in the dating relationship. Both show us what pure love is. Through them, we learn to love each other. Through them, they lead us to Christ.

Conversations/Communication

H: It is very essential to communicate with each other. Whether it is about something that makes you uncomfortable or an achievement you’ve earned, it is still essential to communicate! As the opposite of love is fear, there should be no fear in dating, thus, nothing should hold you back from communicating with each other. Some married couples have told me the importance of this a lot, especially after you get married. While dating, it is then important to start the habit of communicating frequently. Because once you’re married, you know exactly how to communicate well enough.

M: As someone who majored in communications in college, I had to put the practice into real life that some college lectures can’t go deep enough. One of the things to do is to always take the initiative to talk with that girlfriend you are dating. Always check in. Try to understand each other, share your opinions with sincere love. Talk things out. Communication is key to making the relationship last.

Date Selflessly

H: St Paul says: Love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1Corinthians 13:7). Whatever the significant other is going through is also to be endured by the other. In other words, pick up the Cross together and offer it to Christ. When Christ was going through his passion, He had all of us in mind. He gave himself up on the Cross for us selflessly. This must be the same mindset for those who are dating. This will help us to prioritize the significant other more, who also bears the image of Christ.

M: One of the good practices in dating is to date with sacrificial love, where you will have to replace your priorities with those of the significant other. Sometimes you must put your priorities away to help the other person out. One example is helping the woman you’re dating had a bad day at work. She needs your presence. Invite her to pray with you even if it’s a decade of the rosary. Be attentive too. No gadgets.

Envision the Future Together

H: I’ve heard of the statement “don’t date if you’re not ready for marriage” several times from couples who are devoted to their faith and are married for a long time.

We always talked about how our family would look like and how we would want to make sure that we get each other to heaven. This is very important for us! Because we did not want to build up a family only for this earth, but also for heaven, where we finally get to see each other, and our decedents in heaven and enjoy the company of all the angels and saints praising the Triune God. “The world’s thy ship, not thy home” (St. Therese of Lisieux).

M: Hanna and I started talking about marriage by our second date, about a month and a half before we became official. Often, we hear about something on the news that would initiate a discussion. There is no shame to talk about family life now. Some things that have to be addressed are discipline to kids, vacations, and raising the children into the faith.

Tips for Women and Men

H: I’ve always wanted to be a nun in the Missionaries of Charity. I thought that I could only be a saint if I choose a religious vocation. I’ve prayed and fasted for several months for that in the past. When I got to my senior year in high school, I realized that I can be a saint by having a family too. From then on, I prayed for giving me the strength to become a holy daughter, girlfriend, wife, and mother. I also used to pray for my future unknown boyfriend at that time. Today, the only difference is that I know this boyfriend’s name – Mickey. Not a single day goes by without praying for Mickey since we first met at the Cathedral for our first date.

It is important to pray for your vocation – no matter which vocation it is – we are called to be holy. Keep on praying for that – the strength to be holy in a world filled with chaos.

M: As someone who went through a long period of singlehood, praying for the future spouse is important. It is an act of faith, hope, and love all mixed in one. It may be easy to complain about how much your heart yearns for love from someone else, yet God wants that heart to rest in him. Pray and discern. Always seek spiritual direction. Never be afraid to place God in the middle of the relationship. It can transform your life for eternity.

We hope this article inspires many to help them discern the things they want in their relationship, re-evaluate their priorities, but most importantly see where God has been placed in the relationship.