Finding Your Chill in a World of Netflix and Chill

If you spend any time on the internet, I’m almost certain you’ve come across a “Netflix and Chill” meme and I’m pretty sure you understand the meaning. For those of you who are not too familiar with memes/social media and often find yourselves scratching your heads at some of the things kids post these days, let me assure you that Netflix and Chill does not entail binge watching old episodes of Law and Order or The Office and hanging out with a friend. “Netflix and chill” is code for “hooking up.” Netflix and chill?" translation: "Let’s have sex." The meme and jokes surrounding it have died down by now which is why I believe that now is the appropriate time to debrief. Let’s get serious about this. “Netflix and chill” is just another fine example of how secular society has diminished the beauty and sanctity of sex. “Netflix and chill” is not only inappropriate but is dehumanizing. The notion screams “no, you’re not worth taking out on a date to see a movie or to get ice cream, so how about you just come over and we have sex on my mom’s couch after stuffing our face with Dorito’s and pizza rolls while reruns of a show that nobody cares about anymore plays in the background?”

As a Catholic, it is important to avoid conforming to the relaxed attitudes that our secular society is developing towards important social issues and behaviors; especially sex before marriage! Chastity is important! Unmarried people are called to chastity which is to refrain from any form of sexual relations such as, inappropriate touching, masturbation, inappropriate conversations, sexual fantasizing, and pornography. The aforementioned behaviors are distortions of sex! Sex out of love and within the context of marriage is absolutely sacred and beautiful. What does our Church teach about sex? Paragraph 1643 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church asserts that "Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter - appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility."

When a marriage is consummated, we know the two are no longer two but are one flesh! Sex is so powerful, that it unites you with the other person in heart and soul. That bond should include faithfulness found in a solid marriage and openness to procreation. When you’re “Netflix and chilling” are you positive that this bond is indissoluble and faithful? Are you sure that this person isn’t “chilling” with someone else? Are you in a God ordained covenant (marriage) with this person? Are you willing to have kids with this person? If you answered no to any of those questions, then you shouldn’t be having sex at all.

Stay chaste! If you wait, you are preserving the perfect gift that is meant for the person you marry one day. Otherwise, you won’t have much to give. Consider this analogy that I once heard by a Catholic speaker giving a talk on the importance of chastity. Let’s compare the emotional bond that occurs during sexual intercourse to a piece of duct tape. To put this into perspective, try it with those around you. Imagine yourself as a young high school student, (maybe you are) you think you are in love and decide to take the plunge and have sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend. At this point you have attached your duct tape to their arm. Things go awry, he/she stops calling you. You rip the duct tape from their arm. You meet someone else, you think they are the one who can mend your broken heart and you give yourself to them (attach duct tape). Senior year ends, and you both go to different universities (rip the duct tape off). You meet someone at a frat party, hit it off, date, and before you know it you are in bed with this person (attach duct tape). This person joins the military and leaves you behind (rip off duct tape). You graduate, and your days of giving it to just anyone are over, you’re ready to settle down and you find the one. You get engaged and then married. The night of your wedding, it is time to attach your duct tape to this person who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. But wait! There is one problem! The duct tape won’t stick because of all the other junk lifted off of the arms of your previous partners. The sex is purely physical with no emotional connection because you’ve already given a piece of yourself to one too many people.

Know that it is ok to be chaste! You don’t need sex to “chill.” Find someone who will respect you and not demoralize you or diminish your worth to a mere sexual object! Sex is worth waiting until marriage! In the meantime keep your tape sticky, keep following the example of the Blessed Virgin, keep Christ at the center of your life and believe me, you will find your “chill.”