Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day: Give God Your Singleness this Lent

Every single girl knows how painful Valentine’s Day can be, especially if you’re in the stage of life when it seems like everyone you know is dating, engaged or married. I’m one of those girls, in that dreaded stage that can so easily lead to desperation. 

While the jokes and groans about this year’s Valentine’s Day falling on Ash Wednesday are making their way through the Catholic world, I’m relieved that the day of chocolate and romantic indulgences coincides with the day of fasting and abstinence.  

At first, my relief was just selfish gratitude that I would have something else to think about instead of my singleness on February 14. But then I thought, what better thing to give to God this Lent than the cross of that singleness? 

So, I’m going to do just that, and I invite other single young Catholic women to join me in this offering. Here are three ways to actively give God the suffering of your singleness this Lent.  

Dates with Jesus 

It can be hard to know what God is calling us to do as we wait for our marital vocation to start. But one thing we can be sure of is that He is always calling us to a deeper relationship with Him. So, as with every stage of life, we must actively invest in our relationship with God.  

I live in a college town and see couples all the time. But every Wednesday evening, my parish has Mass and adoration, which I plan to re-commit to every week this Lent. I call this my date with Jesus and spend the evening with the One who loves me more than any man ever could. 

While it might not look the same as mine, develop a weekly date with Jesus that includes prayer and time before the Blessed Sacrament. Human relationships require spending time with each other and our relationship with the Son of God is no exception. 

Build productive habits 

There’s no time like the present to be productive and prepare for the future. If you’ve discerned that you’re called to marriage, but that chapter of your story hasn’t been written yet, think of some ways that you can grow now to better prepare you for your vocation. 

What specific sins are you wrestling with right now? Do you have skills you want to develop to help you with family life?  

For example, I want to improve my self-esteem and trust before dating and marriage. I’m also practicing my cooking, cleaning and organization skills so I can be prepared for being a housewife and homemaker.  

Be grateful for the couples in your life 

This one is tough. But it’s a lot better for your soul to develop gratitude for the couples in your life instead of harboring jealousy or self-pity. I used to struggle immensely to be around couples my age—siblings, friends, strangers—it just felt like salt in the wound. I still have a hard time with this, but God has been helping me realize that there is something I can learn from the couples in my life. 

Every relationship—even when you feel like a third wheel—is an opportunity to love others and be loved by them. So, instead of avoiding any engagement with your peers who are dating, don’t reject invitations to spend time with them. Something else that has helped me is regularly praying for couples that I know by name—an act of charity that they may never even know about. 

This Ash Wednesday, as you offer the pain of your singleness to God for Lent, remember that you are His love. He knows you better than anyone ever will, and He loves you so much that He gave His life for you.