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I’m one of those Catholic young adults who is easily agitated by the word “discernment” as I wait for my vocation (marriage, religious or consecrated life) to begin. It’s the kind of word that stirs up fear in me—and I know I’m not alone. The devil is very good at getting us to overthink everything in an effort to dissuade us from following the path God lays out for us.
Through my personal struggles with changes in work, various relationships, restless waiting and fighting the temptation to give up on God, He has drawn me back to one Bible passage that never fails to comfort me:
“Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you.”
Read through this passage (Philippians 4:6-9) a few times on your own and allow the Holy Spirit to touch your heart. Then, I’ll break it down and share some lessons it has taught me about discernment.
Replace Worry with Prayer
In the first two verses of this passage, St. Paul encourages the Philippians to release their anxiety—the source of which is discernment, for the purpose of this blog—and instead talk to God through prayer. God has created you with a unique purpose, a plan which He knew before you were even born. He never intended for you to go at it alone. He gives you everything that you need to fulfill His plan. To know how to go about it, you have to talk to Him...a lot.
But there’s something more intimate about praying in discernment. Offering a novena to find your future husband and praying the rosary are not at all a waste of time, but discernment is personal, so personal prayer is necessary. I’ve found that my most fruitful prayers regarding discernment—whether that’s my vocation to marriage or consecrated life or determining whether to switch jobs—are casual and honest conversations.
I do this by writing letters to God in which I very bluntly and vulnerably share every positive and negative thought and feeling in my entire being. Then, after sitting in silence for a few minutes, I imagine what God would say in response to my letter—and I write that down, too. Writing is in my blood, so my go-to deep prayer method is journaling, but any form of vulnerable, personal conversation with God would accomplish the same goal. And I can testify that, just as the following verse promises, I have never felt more peace and clarity about discernment than when I pray in this vulnerable, intimate way.
Make a List
If you’re trying to make a decision, you’ve probably already been told to make a list of pros and cons. But when we’re talking about discernment, there must be a deeper level of spirituality that considers what is objectively true, honorable, just, pure, lovely and gracious, as St. Paul describes. Take your decision and ask these questions about each option in front of you. If any stand in direct opposition to these objective goods, that’s probably a good sign that it’s not the path God has planned for you.
Of course, this gets more complicated with each discernment case. But because it’s so easy to get emotional and subjective amid discernment, making a list that is based on objective reality and virtue can be an extremely beneficial start.
Don’t Doubt What You Already Know
The last verse of this Philippians passage encourages them to “keep on doing what you have learned.” If you’re behaving virtuously and striving to follow God’s plan for your life, one of the most important things to remember is to remain steady in virtue. You know how to strive for holiness, even when you fall. You know that God loves you and has a unique plan for your life. So, when you’re working towards that goal, don’t let the devil distract you.
I’ve learned that the most difficult obstacle in discernment is second-guessing. The devil has really targeted me in this way, so if you’re struggling with the same issue, know that you’re not alone. God never tries to confuse you, even if you don’t understand His plan right away. The devil, on the other hand, is a master of confusion and doubt. Through free will, we have the power to allow the devil’s tactics to take control or to choose to remain steadfast in the ways of the Lord.
Discernment is hard, and there’s no way to sidestep that reality. But it’s not impossible, as we may believe. As you weigh any decision in life, always remember that Christ died for you and longs for your eternal happiness. And when you struggle with making a big decision, refer to Philippians 4:6-9 and allow God to give you true peace.
Jean is a professional writer and journalist with a background in music, communications and Catholic and pro-life media. She is a cradle Catholic whose faith journey became personal at a liberal Virginia university, where she developed a deep love of evangelization. Jean is especially passionate about crafting content to help young women understand their calling and worth as daughters of God and provide practical tips for living the Catholic faith in daily life.
