Death with Dignity? Or Do Life and Death Belong to God?

The Saturday before All Souls Day, in my home state, cancer victim Brittany Maynard exercised Oregon’s “death with dignity” law to end her own life. She moved here from California for just this purpose. She reasoned that she was dying, that she didn’t want to suffer any more than she had to, and that she deserved the right to end her own life with “dignity” on her own terms and timing.

Her announcement made national news and renewed the debate over the right to “die with dignity.” For the most part, the media overwhelmingly supported her decision as the compassionate alternative. It also prompted impassioned responses from others who are terminally ill or suffering who are making a different choice – to allow God to choose, and to not fear suffering or death, but to be lovingly united with Him throughout all. One open letter from Kara Tippetts particularly touched my heart, and I was deeply moved that someone facing death could have such love and compassion for another in the midst of her own struggles.

Brittany’s media attention also sparked the nation to pray for her. Indeed, we prayed for Brittany here at daily Mass. And for awhile, it seemed those prayers were working. Just a few days before her passing, Brittany told the nation that she wasn’t ready to die, that she was still laughing and enjoying life with her family and was at least postponing her decision to take her own life.

So I was sadly taken by surprise when I read in the news four days later that she had taken a lethal dose of drugs prescribed by a physician.

I was especially sad that my home state has paved the way for this.

I remember when Oregon first passed this law a full 20 years ago. We were the first state in the union to do so. There was much public debate about this law leading up to its passing, and so I had the opportunity to think about it a great deal. I wasn’t a Catholic at the time, but something deep down inside of me felt this wasn’t right. No matter how persuasive the proponents were of the right to take your own life to avoid suffering and “loss of dignity,” I couldn’t get past the feeling that life was a gift from God and that it wasn’t ours to take His place in timing or means.

Many years before, when I was a teenager, I had been suicidal. My family was not religious, and I had no real faith to draw on for help. After months of debilitating depression, seeing no other way out from my suffering, I had made a suicide plan. But as I held the bottle of sleeping pills in my hand, angels came to me and surrounded me. I could feel them opening up my mind and heart. They showed me clearly that life was a gift and that it was disobedient to God to take my own life. Further, they showed me that if I did, it would not be a way out for my pain, but would double it because of the sin of taking my own life. I could feel the offense to God that it was. They showed me that this was NEVER a way out, but that if I stayed the course and determined to face my pain, God would show me a way through.

I was stunned. I put down the bottle of pills and resolved to face life and be thankful for its gift and that no matter how bad things got in the future, I would never look to ending my life as an option again.

And slowly but surely things got better for me. God fulfilled His promise and He has ALWAYS shown me a way through my trials.

That experience was a crossroads for me, heralding the beginning of my spiritual journey, my search for God that eventually led me to the Catholic Church.

Brittany died the Saturday before All Souls Day, the day that the Church prays especially for the souls in purgatory. I pray for her, for her family and for those who are considering following her example. And I pray too for those who, like Kara Tippetts, are choosing to face death with true dignity, with and in the grace of God.