Silent Retreat - For Me, Really???

My sentiments exactly when my spiritual director suggested that I attend one. I asked him outright, “Are you kidding?” I thought he was either joking or making it my penance. But he assured me that it was not my penance (I am quite a social person so being silent for any amount of time besides sleeping is not easy). He even encouraged me saying that he knew I would not only enjoy it, but I would get so much out of it. And, as much as I hate to say it, he was right!

I thought about it and prayed about it. Was I really going to be able to be SILENT for an entire weekend? What would I do in those “quiet” hours? Would I feel uncomfortable being with people I didn’t know a whole weekend, especially since I couldn’t even talk to them to get to know them better? These all were running through my mind but the thought of it kept coming to the forefront of my mind – ALL THE TIME. I couldn’t stop thinking – why did he suggest it for me? And why now?

But I have to say after going to two of them (and anxiously awaiting going on a third), it was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had in my spiritual life! For the first meal (dinner on Friday), you can talk, so I got to know the ladies at my table well. They were all very nice and there were two others at our table who had also never attended a silent retreat before. After dinner, the silence began and I had thought that I would be lost with being silent, but it was one of the most peaceful experiences ever.

They gave small talks (like workshops) that gave you things to think about. I had received little notecards from my husband when I opened my suitcase, each with a Bible quote. There was one for each hour I would be gone! They not only were a very sweet and thoughtful gift, but also inspired me to focus on that Scripture passage and allow myself to ponder how that particular one was speaking to me in my life at that moment. So between the talks and his notecards, I had a lot to think about. Plus we celebrated Mass and even had Confession too!

I prayed and pondered a lot. I was able to think and journal as my mind was so clear of all the clutter I normally have in it. It felt like I was living in a dream. It was so peaceful, quiet and prayerful. My table mates smiled at me throughout the weekend, whether it be at meals or in passing, and I learned how to be silent and still. This is a VERY important skill when listening to God. It took me quite a long time to realize that in order to hear Him speaking to me in my heart, I had to be silent and still and allow Him into my heart to speak to me. This was quite a change for me in my fast paced, running all over the place life, but I needed it.

The hardest part is taking "being silent with God" away from the weekend and bringing it into my own everyday life. It is not easy. It takes effort and planning to incorporate this into your daily life, but I can tell you from my personal experience, it is SO WORTH IT! I spend about fifteen minutes each morning just lying in bed listening and talking to God, in the silence. I open my mind and heart and allow Him in. I take the time to thank Him for giving me this day, offer all my works to Him and ask Him what He wants from me today. He doesn’t always answer, but I know He hears me, and He knows that He is a priority in my life.

If you’ve ever thought about going on a silent retreat or someone has mentioned to you that you should go, then go, it is NOT an insult!!!! It is an invitation to grow closer to the Lord and allow Him to be the focus of an entire weekend. So, take the time out of your busy life, like I did, and give Him one weekend. If you do, and are open to Him when you go, you’ll come back wanting to go again and again. These have been two of the best weekends I have had in my life. Thank you to my spiritual director who encouraged me to go, because without his suggestion, I would’ve never even thought that this would have been for me.