Mary, Mary, I'm Contrary: How to Own Your Spiritual Mother

I know you are out there, but you are keeping your head down.You may be a convert to Catholicism, an under forty Catholic who just never “got it,”, or a victim of that Intimidating Perfection from the time you could hold the beads in your stubby little fingers. You are the Catholic who doesn’t “get” Mary. You feel a little ashamed, a little annoyed, and confounded as to what to do next. If this sounds like you, stay tuned! This article was crafted just for you, by one who knows exactly where you’re coming from.

I grew up with the rosary being prayed all around me. I heard often of favors that came through Mary’s intercession. And yet, in my own life, I struggled with Marian devotion. While many spoke about the tender care of Mary as their mother, all I could see was this image of perfect womanhood, without any blemish. I could not relate to her seemingly austere loveliness.

Happily, the story didn’t end there. I am going to offer you three tips that helped me to bond with this very special lady, who happens to be our spiritual mom.

Ask her. My big breakthrough with Mary came when I had the humility to just say to her, “I don’t get this, but I want to understand and be close to you. Help me.” Ask yourself some honest questions: What do you need to understand about her? How do you want her to be involved in your life? How would you like her to help you? Once you’ve thought about and answered these questions, write your own prayer of consecration to Mary (perfectly admissible in the realm of personal devotion). Keep it short, simple, and honest. You can customize your words to your own needs, and comfort level. Pray this consecration often, with the knowledge that it is being heard, and that Our Lady will respond to you. As you begin to recognize Mary’s role, you’ll understand why this is a no fail recipe. And that brings us to the next step…

Meditate on the scriptures that relate to Mary. Let the Holy Spirit clarify to you personally who Mary is. I am going to share three of my favorites with you:

And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!” Luke 1:38

^“ But why is this granted to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?” Luke 1:43

And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.” Luke 1:46-47

All of these scriptures reveal something of the essence of Mary’s identity and her distinct role in the plan of God. Reverence for the Mother of God has existed in the Church from its earliest times. I discovered this personally when I was able to visit the catacombs in Rome. There are inscriptions honoring Mary scrawled on those ancient stone walls, which give witness to the esteemed place she held in the hearts of the earliest believers. Her special identity is plainly spoken of in scripture. Many Christians hear from others about Mary, but they often forget to let the Holy Spirit, in tandem with Sacred Scripture, illuminate for them personally who she is. Through this kind of simple meditation, I began to discover for myself why Mary is special.

Honor Our Lady in Your Home. Find an image of Our Lady that speaks to your heart, and give it a special place in your home. I raised some eyebrows in college when I positioned (in a very prominent place in my dorm room) a picture I loved of Our Lady receiving a bouquet of daisies from the Child Jesus. This image was one that I could relate to, and the woman smiling at her little boy was someone I could feel free to confide in. Start looking for just such an image for yourself and you’ll find one. The renditions of the Blessed Mother are endless! If you ever have the privilege of going to the National Shrine in Washington DC, you will be amazed at the beauty and variety of depictions of this simple Jewish girl who was honored to be Jesus’ mother. Have your chosen image blessed and then, in moments when you need your mother (and we all have those) , go to Mary. You will find that God knew what He was doing when He chose her for Jesus. Mary is both a wonderful mother, and a loving friend. And while God chose her especially for Jesus, He also chose her just for you!