Poem: Ever Now

Ever Now

By Tim McGuire

I look back and remember anger

-and get angry.

I look back and recall depression

-and get depressed.

I look back and retrieve guilt

-and feel guilty.

God, when you look at me,

You look at me now.

You love me          now

Right now

I look ahead to worry

-and get worried.

I look ahead to fear

-and get so afraid.

I look ahead to wants-

and remain wanting.

The Tempter recites my list of grievances:

“You’ve never gotten enough love,

You don’t have enough money,  

and you’ll never get the credit you deserve.”

Assuming we are allies, he says “This is not the life you thought you were going to get-

You’re right to be worried, afraid and, especially, angry.”

I reject his recruitment pitch.

He retreats to his customary contempt.

O God, you are the God of now.

Please remind me that when I stay with you now

I don’t fall back

- or stumble forward.

God, You love me now.

Right now

Ever Now