Pleading with God not to do what He is calling me to do

December 8 is a Holy Day of Obligation. It is the day of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a day to honor Mary being conceived and not having any sin. Just as Mary humbled herself before God, many women chose to symbolize their own humbling by wearing a veil in the Church. Many women veiled prior to the Second Vatican. Yet, somehow, people do not understand the real meaning behind the practicing of veiling.
Veiling is a Biblical practice as described in 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 "but as Christ did the will, and sought the honour of God, so the Christian should avow his subjection to Christ, doing his will and seeking his glory. We should, even in our dress and habit, avoid every thing that may dishonour Christ. The woman was made subject to man, because made for his help and comfort. And she should do nothing, in Christian assemblies, which looked like a claim of being equal. She ought to have "power," that is, a veil, on her head, because of the angels. Their presence should keep Christians from all that is wrong while in the worship of God....God has so settled matters, both in the kingdom of providence and that of grace, that the authority and subjection of each party should be for mutual help and benefit. It was the common usage of the churches, for women to appear in public assemblies, and join in public worship, veiled; and it was right that they should do so. The Christian religion sanctions national customs wherever these are not against the great principles of truth and holiness;.."
Veiling, although is in the Bible, goes that the woman is sacred in the eyes of God. She is showing her reverence to Christ. The woman in the Catholic Church is seen as the Bridegroom to Christ. As the Bridegroom, women are the brides of the Church. It is important to remember whatever the woman's reason for veiling it is between her and God. It is not because we see ourselves holier than anyone else. It is because we are making the decision to show reverence to Christ. We are making the decision to focus more on our own prayer life. There is no reason for fellow parishioners to make the woman feel out of place. Trust me, we are already putting those pressures on ourselves, especially when we know that we are one of few.
It is about devoting ourselves more to Christ. It is about developing an even stronger relationship with Christ and putting Him first in our lives. At times, it is difficult to sit in Mass and focus. However, veiling can allow women the opportunity to find solace in her relationship. It is about showing reverence and understanding the true suffering of Christ.
Do not stand there and judge them because they may be the only women in the Church veiling. It is a personal decision and each women needs to do what she feels comfortable doing. It is a honor to Christ when we want to show Him as much reverence as a woman can possibility can. Veiling is something that I was contemplating for many months before I went ahead and actually started veiling. However, I was encouraged even more when one of my friends encouraged me to jump off the deep end and veil. I decided to take a jump of faith and veil. Yes, I feel uncomfortable at times during Mass especially since I am the only one veiling and am self-conscious about the situation.
It was a decision that I made after much prayer and reflection. The bottom line is that the decision was personal, and I believe that Christ will allow it to deepen my relationship with Him. Hopefully, with December 8 around the corner, more women will be encouraged to veil, and I will not be the only person in Mass veiling. Until then, I will continue to pray to become more comfortable with my decision to veil.