Mindful of the Magnificence of Marriage Pt. 2

Marriage: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

In Part 1 we looked at ways marriage could be protected, and this most valuable of human relationships is well worth cultivating and protecting. I think many of us that are blessed to be married don’t realize how blessed we are. For example, here are many further benefits of marriage. Sex within marriage leads to greater and greater levels of intimacy. You get to know each other better and better in a way that no one else on earth does. This helps develop a trust relationship that is sure and steady. In happy marriages this can have interesting physical benefits. Happily married couples blood pressures drop when they sleep together. Their heartbeats synchronize as well. Their hearts literally beat as one because of the assurance that they have that their spouse loves them absolutely and has their back at all times.

The physical contact involved in this helps us to bond more strongly all of the time. There are endorphin receptors throughout the skin covering of the body and they react to intimate and loving touch, which generates endogenous (or internal) endorphins, a kind of uber relaxant. Hugs contribute to this, and married couples are encouraged to hug each other at least eight times per day.

And Giving…

Another great benefit of married sex is that it is antiaging. Cells in the body that are anti-inflammatory are released during sexual activity. This helps the body to be able to repair more effectively and seems to be a built-in way that the wellness and well-being of the married couple is enhanced. It lowers stress levels.

Sex within marriage raises our immune system by causing the release of an antibody called immunoglobin A. This helps protect our bodies against invasive bacteria and viruses. A lifelong marriage is a very holistic stabilizing factor physiologically and psychologically for a couple.

And Giving…

An awesome married sex life helps us to sleep better because oxytocin is released substantially after orgasm. Cuddling afterwards and going to sleep is very natural and healthy. It helps us to have healthier looking skin as it promotes blood circulation, and it even helps women to have lighter periods, which is a great relief to those who typically have heavy periods. Many women have cramps during their monthly period, and regular sex to orgasm can make a difference through frequent uterine contractions that help expel toxins and tissues.

The Dad Effect

Of course, one of the greatest outcomes of a good marriage can be the birth of children. Here as well there are many benefits. One of the best of them has to be what happens to men biochemically when they become fathers. Researchers found that when men become dads their testosterone levels fall, their estrogen levels rise, and their cortisol levels fall. This chemical cocktail causes them to bond tightly to their child and more tightly to the child’s mother. It seems that there is a design in these biochemical changes that is meant to promote love between a husband and his wife and their children. This helps the woman particularly to feel safe and secure in their relationship. Remember, we are a monandrous species.

There are those today who say that marriage is not natural for humans. They claim that different forms of promiscuity like hooking up, polyamory, ethical non-monogamy etc. are the true form of human sexuality. The famed anthropologist and sociologist Dr. Pierre L. van den Berghe who spent much of his life studying human family systems said that no human society in historical memory has come close to genuine promiscuity or indiscriminate sex without either feelings or jealousy. Highly selected groups have tried it, but they have not been successful. They have either broken up in a matter of a few months or reverted to more standard forms of pair bonding.

Also, relationship expert Dr. Helen Fisher in her book  Anatomy of Love quoted the anthropologist George Peter Murdoch who summarized the data from a survey of 250 cultures saying “An impartial observer employing the criterion of numerical preponderance, consequently would be compelled to characterize nearly every known human society as monogamous, despite the preference for and frequency of polygyny in the overwhelming majority.” And I would add that that preference is probably overwhelmingly from men.

Marriage And Its Multidimensional Benefits

In his book Marriage and Civilization, William Tucker showed that marriage not only benefits individuals, couples, and families but also entire societies, countries, and the world. He concludes that historically, in times and places where monogamy has been practiced as opposed to polygyny there has been political stability. The example I will leave you with is his observation of the fruits of the Victorian Era: “Monogamous marriage, supported by middle-class morality, became the cornerstone of unprecedented prosperity and social stability in the 19th century. There were no major wars between the end of the Napoleonic Era in 1815 and the outbreak of the First World War in 1914. During that time much of Europe-and particularly Great Britain–flourished in a way that had never been deemed possible. For the first time in history, it became plausible for the broad sweep of the population to have rising expectations.”

Marriage is a sacrament and perhaps the most important human to human decision we make in our lifetimes!