Mindful of the Magnificence of Marriage Pt. 1

We have developed an absurd cultural narrative in our 21st century’s society that says that marriage is not cool, especially for young people in their early 20s. It says you have to have completed your university degrees and gotten established in your profession before you even consider getting married. It has become the “M” word for relationships. Between this and divorce, only 48% of American adults are now married down from 75% in 1960. Contrastingly to this, science shows that marriage confers many benefits, and these are probably most beneficial over a lifetime if young people marry in their early 20s. Among these are reducing your chances of hospitalization, need for surgery, dying after bypass surgery, getting pneumonia, getting rheumatoid arthritis, gum disease, viral infection, dementia, clinical depression, heart attack, being jailed, being murdered, being killed in a car wreck, and committing suicide. And these are just some of the physical benefits.

Another area of wellness and preventive health that is related to being a married versus a single woman in this society is the possible effect that marriage has on future cancer risk. In a future article we will concentrate on the specifics of the advantages, especially to women, of getting married earlier. For now For now, presumably, being “off the singles market” should lower the chances of participation in promiscuous sex. A recent study has shown that women with more than 10 sexual partners were 91% more likely to have been diagnosed with cancer. This compares to men with 10 or more sexual partners who were 64% more likely to have been diagnosed with cancer. It seems that promiscuity is not good for either sex, but particularly not good for women.

Marriage and Men

Marriage also creates benefits in the financial area of our lives. It generates wealth because it helps shape men into producers providers and savers. Singleness and cohabitation don’t necessarily do this. Married men are more ingrained in the labor force, they suffer less substance abuse, they commit fewer crimes, are less likely to become victims of crime, have better health, and are less accident-prone. Insurance companies know the statistics regarding this and therefore charge less for married men.

Married men work more, earn more, save more, and spend more money on their families than on themselves. They raise the well-being of their wives and children in crucial ways. Hopefully you have a man like this.

Protecting Marriage

Understanding biologically based sex differences which can lead to sexual conflict, especially in this sexualized society in which we live will help you avoid the leading cause of divorce in the US which is adultery at 20%-40%. There are many good books out there that can help with this. One that I co-authored that is specifically aimed at reducing hookup culture and promoting romance culture among young people is called Battles of the Sexes.

One more important area you should be aware of is how drinking alcohol affects women sex drive. Alcohol raises women’s testosterone levels and simultaneously lowers inhibitions in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. This area covers discipline, decision-making, and planning. It raises men’s testosterone levels slightly as well, but they are accustomed to the effect of high levels of testosterone. For most women this is a novel biochemical phenomenon that is unusual for them in their daily lives.

If you are naturally cycling and drink during your fertile window, which for most women are days eight through 14 you may find yourself unusually sexually motivated and aggressive. If you’re around your husband this can be good. Let’s say though that you are on a business trip, drinking in the hotel bar. You see the negative possibilities? Women should be aware of this, but many aren’t.

In Part 2 we will take a look at how marriage deserves all the protection we can give it because it is the gift that keeps on giving and giving to us. It deserves all of the efforts we can put into it!