Marriage Belongs to God

Marriage Belongs to God 

At this time, there is much uproar in the media about the Catholic Synod of the Family in Rome where the topic of marriage has been in heated debate. One of the tenets of marriage being considered is whether or not divorced and civilly remarried couples can receive the Eucharist, or Holy Communion. At the center of the debate is the concept of the indissolubility of the marriage vow.

Currently, Catholics can only receive Holy Communion if they are not in a state of sin, and if they are divorced and civilly remarried, the Church considers them, in effect, to be committing adultery, which is a grave sin. Of course, they can apply for the first marriage to be nullified, and oftentimes this is granted. But not all couples meet the criterion for annulment (and many do not even try) and so there is a call for “mercy” for those who are divorced and civilly remarried to relax the rule.

But why in today’s world is there such a need for this in the first place?

‘What God has joined together let no man put asunder'

Although it is right and good to consider that the sacrament of marriage is indissoluble, what is seemingly overlooked altogether these days is whether or not the marriage was “of God” in the first place. It’s as if these days we believe that we can simply choose whomever we desire (at the moment) to be our lifelong spouse, go before God via a priest and God will join us together sacramentally for the rest of our natural lives. He just accepts passively our decision for a lifelong mate and that’s that.

No wonder we have problems!

If God has a plan for our lives “before He formed us in the womb” doesn’t it stand to reason that this plan would also include someone He intends for us in marriage (if marriage is a part of that plan at all)? In the Catholic Church, priests and religious are expected to spend time (quite a bit of time actually) discerning whether that vocation is God’s Will - His chosen destiny for them. But we seldom seem to ask couples seeking to get married for a similar discernment anymore, not seriously anyway. The question just doesn’t seem to come up in the same way or with the same weight – as if we can pretty much choose anyone who is willing and available and God will simply go along with it.

Or not.

With all the twists and turns life throws at us during the unfolding of that destiny God has planned for us “before He formed us in the womb” it is hard enough to go through them ourselves. Add to that another person, with their own destiny to follow and it becomes near to impossible to navigate.

Unless God is the Matchmaker.

If God is the matchmaker, then it stands to reason that your destinies will be intertwined in a way that He has already foreseen, and that edifies both of you, as well as your children. And most importantly, you have the assurance that if it’s His idea in the first place, He will have a way through each and every challenge you face in life.

So much weighty thought is being given today to what to do once marriages fail. If only we put as much weight into discerning God’s Will before the vows were taken, we might have far more successful marriages in the first place. And the indissolubility of the marriage vow makes much more sense if it is God who truly joined you together in the first place.