Be Imitators of Me
Striving with God
How do I balance prayer and the needs of my family?
I put this question to my spiritual director, hoping for a clear-cut answer, a formula. He is only human, though, so we simply talked through possibilities. He acknowledged the need for private prayer while trying to release me from self-condemnation and despair any time I didn't manage to do it all.
I struggle with God, as we all do at times. We have only so many resources, so much time. We know to love God above all and to love our neighbors as Christ loved us, but the day to day implementation of that is a challenge. When we wrestle with God, it is impossible to be distant from Him. We cling to Him as we fight.
Genesis 32 tells of Jacob wrestling with an angel. They wrestle all night, with the angel gaining the upper hand only by injuring Jacob's hip. At dawn, Jacob clings to the angel, refusing to let go until the angel gives a blessing. The angel responds, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed" (Gen 32:28).
As with Jacob, our struggles bring us face to face with the living God. We cannot help but be changed by this encounter. Jacob understood that taking on a new name meant also taking on a new role in God's plan. Jacob, now Israel, was called to lead God's chosen people. When we wrestle with God, we not only learn more about Him, but about ourselves and His calling for our lives.
At the conclusion of spiritual direction, my confessor asked that I read the story of Jacob and the angel as my penance. We had talked at length about finding God in our struggles, so it was a fitting penance. Only when I got home and re-read that familiar story did I see God. Through His priest, He answered my original question. In His word, He laid out clearly what my priorities should be at this time:
"The same night [Jacob] got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. Jacob was left alone" (Gen 32:22-24).
He took care of his family. Then he was alone. There, he clung to God. May we go and do likewise.
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About the Author
Liana is a cradle Catholic, wife of a convert, and homeschooling mother of three with a Masters in school psychology. Her mission field is generally the 18 and under crowd, whom she has served through religion class, youth group, coaching sports, and summer camps. She has self-published an e-book, Growing (Up) in Faith, on teaching the faith to children up to five years old and has occasionally written articles for Working to Beat Hell.
