Do you feel called to more but don't think you're called to religious life? Try the lay orders

The lay orders, also sometimes (though nowadays generally inaccurately) called the third orders, are the best kept secret of the Catholic Church.

Almost all Catholics are aware of our religious orders. These are, in a nutshell, essentially various institutes created in order to live out the faith in a particular way. They generally require someone to move away from their families and give up the life they're currently living so they can devote their whole life to Christ.

This is an option all Catholics can and should consider, but the truth is most people are not going to be called to live out their lives in a religious order (and most men not called to the Diocesan clergy either). Even in times where there was no Priestly vocation crisis, marriage was always the more common vocation, and always will be.

At least, most people aren't going to be called to live out their lives CONSECRATED to a religious order. But what if you didn't need to be consecrated? What if you could continue living in the world, get married, and continue your normal day to day life, but join a religious order anyway?

Enter the lay orders. Many religious orders have a way for you to join them that does not require you to stop being a layperson. You can participate in the charism and receive the spiritual blessings of the order without needing to move, wear a full habit, join the Priesthood, etc.

The lay orders each have their own requirements unique from what were historically called the first and second orders (monks/brothers and nuns/sisters). If you do your research, you'll be shocked at how many different options you have. There are lay Dominicans, secular Franciscans, lay Carmelites and discalced Carmelites, the Salesian Cooperators, lay Carthusians...the list goes on.

If you've always admired the spirituality of a particular order but don't feel comfortable or are unable (for whatever reason) to join the first or second orders, you might want to research if the group you so admire has a third order. You may be surprised at how often the answer is yes.

What it means in the concrete to be a part of a third order varies depending on the group but generally it means meetings at least once a month at a minimum and, after a period of discernment, the length of which varies depending on the group, taking promises (NOT vows - there is no penalty of sin in a promise) to abide by that order's particular charism, but adapted for a lay context.

For example, if you were to join the lay Dominicans, you would be allowed to live in the world as normal but you would meet with a fraternity monthly and live out the four pillars of Dominican life in prayer, community, study, and apostolate, but adapted to a lay context. This means at a bare minimum you would promise to say the morning and evening liturgy of the hours daily, attend monthly meanings and at least one yearly retreat (which could be as short as one day), share your spiritual life with your fraternity, study the material given to you by the Dominican curriculum, and have some sort of work you do to benefit the Church outside of the context of the ministry.

This is what you would do with the Dominicans to live out their particular charism, but it will be different for every order. The Salesian lay order, the Salesian Cooperators, for example, tend to be much less structured. You can find the one that best suits your spiritual life and your tendencies.

It is important to note that while more flexible, it is still a very real and serious vocation, and not a decision to be made lightly - which is no reason not to speak with a particular third order, as all of them have what you might call "trial periods" before promises are made. There's no reason not to at least look into them if you think you might be called.

I see so many Catholics lament that they don't feel like there's a place for them in the Church, from single, unmarried Catholics who nevertheless don't feel called to religious life to married Catholics who see depressingly few non-clergy Saints on the Church calendar. But there is! It's right there! If any of this speaks to you, consider checking out the third orders today. You may be surprised at where the Holy Spirit leads you.