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Jesus Wept – I have too.
After my divorce (1994), I needed to find another place to live. I was working in Farmington at the time and living in Hampton. Rents were high and almost non-existent in the Hampton area, so I thought I would move to Dover and shorten my commute. For some reason I felt I should stop into a church, so I did. As I walked into Saint Mary’s, during the week, I met the Pastor in the vestibule. I don’t know how often you have walked into a church in the middle of the day and a priest just happened to be walking toward you at the door? For me, I think this was the only time.
Fortuitous I thought, maybe he would know of someplace for me to rent. So I told him where I worked and that I was considering a move to Dover. He was telling me about what a great area it was, an easy commute to many places, etc. Then I told him why I was moving. I was unable to say the word “divorce” without crying. I told him about the foreclosure and bankruptcy with more tears and apologized for them. Father Dunn said, “That’s OK, Jesus wept.”
He told me he had boxes of tissues all over his office. “I am on the marriage tribunal, people have cried with me before.”
Consider that he is at the door, midweek, in the middle of the day, I talk with him and he is on the tribunal. So then, when I went for my annulment, I met with someone I already knew. Coincidence? I don’t think so. I think it was in the design. The universe has a beautiful plan and the threads are coming together to weave a beautiful pattern.
It’s consoling that Jesus wept. He wasn’t sure he wanted to do God’s will. Well, maybe he was sure, but at first he would prefer God’s will to be different, more to his own human desire. Me too.
I know I can think I know how it “should go.” Many times I know what I want to see happen. I have my judgments and desires as to how things are “supposed” to be. But just maybe there is a larger plan at work. A better one. I can envision what I want, work toward it and then my challenge is to release my attachment to the outcome and surrender to God’s will. The difficult part is discerning what God asks of me. And sometimes it’s clear and I don’t want to do it. The choice to surrender needing to happen again and again.
God works in miraculous ways and we don’t see the whole picture. Even if I have to cry before I go, like Jesus did, if I will do God’s will, it’s been promised I too will rise again.
Can I trust and surrender to his plan? What is the part I have to do my part to make something happen and when is the time my part is - I need to let go? Jesus took time apart to meditate, to talk to God to get to know what was asked of him. Do I? Will I take time for prayer and meditation each day? Will I consider asking His will throughout my day?
We are shaping our lives by the questions we ask of ourselves. Which ones do you choose?
Lynn Durham, RN. 603-926-9700 www.lynndurham.com
For a Lenten Reflection go to www.thewayofthecrossandresurrection.com
Lynn Schwartz Durham is a mother of three sons and a well-being coach living in New Hampshire, USA. Since her childhood days in Lordship, Connecticut where she held “health camp” at the beach, Lynn has been interested in helping others feel better.
A UConn graduate and registered nurse, Lynn has taught nursing, “Women’s Wellness” and “Spirituality and Health.” Lynn speaks, facilitates retreats, and writes - all focused on well-being …for those who want to release anger, anxiety and anguish … for those who want to embrace, cherish and celebrate life!
Lynn has published over 100 articles and columns, is a contributing author to several books, has an audio book called Dancing Gracefully with Life and is the author of From Frazzled to Fantastic! You’re One Thought Away From Feeling Better,
For many years Lynn was a member of the National Speakers Association, the National Wellness Association and the American Association of Therapeutic Humor. She has studied at the Harvard Deaconess Mind Body Medical Institute in Boston where a fellow participant called her a glass of Prozac!
Lynn is also a NH Real Estate Broker in the lakes and mountains area, a grandmother, an artist, dancer and bridge player.
Through contact with Lynn on TV, radio or in person, people change the way they see their world. Whether we find her with a flower in her hat, or spinach in her teeth, Lynn brings her sense of Joy in the Journey wherever she goes.
