Bearing the Soul in Confession

The most underused and most unpopular Sacrament is Confession. It is the Sacrament that gives us peace and allows us to bare our soul without having to fear the information will and can be used against us. And somehow, Confession is the one Sacrament that we are the most fearful of as Catholics. Although, I am certain many argue that Anointing of the Sick is the most fearful Sacrament.

I, like many of fellow Catholics, feared Confession. It was a place where I thought people would know that I am a horrible person for whatever sins I committed. Yet, Confession was never the place that I feared when I was younger. Actually, it was one of the Sacraments that was starting to make me part of the Church. People had the option of choosing to go face to face or stay anonymous. My younger self always loved going face to face. Somehow, going face to face made the Sacrament seem more real.

At some point, on the path of being Catholic, Confession becomes the dreaded box. Is it because we know our sins are no longer simple such as fighting with our siblings or not playing nicely with our friends? Our sins become more of things we know that we should not do, but we do it anyway. We feel the pressures of living in a society that can compromise our Catholic values. The dreaded box becomes the thing that we make exceptions to not go. Yet, as we make the excuses to not go to Confession, we start making the excuses not to go to Mass. The cycle continues and somehow in the midst of everything, we become the "Holiday Catholic".

While on a retreat about the importance of Confession, the priest showed a short clip on Jesus addressing the sinners. Like all retreats, Confession was offered. However, the difference with this Confession was the fact that is was said during Adoration. Most churches never offer Confession during Adoration. However, it really gave us an opportunity to think about our sins and to truly bare our souls.

While baring the soul to the Confessor, I kept thinking about just letting the heart speak. Somehow, the Confessor told me that it was the best Confession he ever heard. It was not making the process of baring the soul any easier to hear that it was the best Confession he heard. Or the fact that he told me that I should teach people how to go to Confession. All I did was put myself back to the day when I looked forwarded to going to Confession and having the option of sitting down with Father. It did not make Confession any easier and am certain that my shaking could be felt through the walls of the Church.

However, the point of Confession is to ask Christ for forgiveness and to vow that we will work on not committing the same sins over again. By making it a point to go to Confession on a weekly basis, which will turn into a monthly basis the Sacrament becomes a little more easier to deal with. However, I am still not comfortable in the Confessional and, in speaking with my fellow Catholics, I believe I am not alone on that feeling. The only thing that gives me peace of mind is knowing that whatever was bothering me is now off my shoulders. The anxiety will continue to be there, and I will continue to shake as I confess my offenses. However, as Catholics we believe in Jesus Christ and know He will pardon our sins as long as we bare our soul to Him.