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Some reflections as I consider the Stations of the Cross
1 - Washing hands. When do I “wash my hands?” What good did it do – nothing. There was something that needed to be done and was left undone. When or what circumstance have I ignored, not helped? And then appeased myself with such a flimsy belief as “not my fault?”
Why didn’t you complain and defend yourself? You could have gotten out of it if you tried. How could you know so clearly what God wanted of you? How can I know what he wants of me? Please tell me. I’m listening.
2 – I look at a picture and see you holding the cross, touching it almost gently. Are you trying to make friends with it? Does that make it easier? What do I need to accept? Some body aches and pains? But you have shown us miracles. And you live this time in your life without them? Do I need to?
3 – It’s too heavy – you fell. Why not stay down? It’s only more agony ahead. How do you do it? How can I? Where does that strength come from?
4 – They must’ve been moved when you stopped. How long did the guards let you pause? What was going through their minds? Did they want to let you go? Why didn’t they? What would I do in the face of such injustice? Where do I see it in my life? Will I make a stand?
5 – Help. You got help. Did you think it would be enough? Why didn’t they just let you go here. Would I appreciate such help? Do I accept it? If even you need it then why not me? Why do I feel I have to go it all alone?
6 – Refreshment. Even in my darkest time come people who offer me respite. It can be a word, some small thing. Do I pause to let it sink in?
7 – Falling. It’s so unacceptable to fall. It’s so clumsy, so weak, so baby-like. Can I bear it if I fall under the weight of my perceived difficulties? Even if they are as real as yours were, can I be OK with a fall? Can I get up over and over again? It doesn’t seem possible, yet you show me how.
8 – Meeting your mother. Mary had to wonder, “Why are you doing this son?” I’ve asked that same question. Could this possibly be God’s will even when I couldn’t understand?
Do I have people in my life that I need to let go of to do God’s work? How can I say goodbye? You gave her to another’s care and knew you would meet again. If I believed that we would see each other again it would make it easier. Help me to believe that in my soul.
9 – Falling face down in the dirt. As your physical strength diminished did you get more spiritual power? It seemed to ebb and flow. Maybe it’s OK that mine does too? Why not me? Why do I wish to be so much more?
10 – Taking your clothes. Earthly possessions stripped away. You look up. You are beaming. Where is the hatred in your heart? How did you get rid of it all? How can I let go of any bitterness I might hold?
11 – That same tree you caressed you become violently attached to. Bones separate. Excruciating pain. You show us how much the body can endure. It is a miraculous body. I don’t think I give thanks enough for all the circumstances of my life.
12 – You went through all that came before and in the last minute you gave up hope. You cry out. You think you are abandoned. I’ve felt so alone and in your story I see you were not really abandoned. Does that mean that I too am ultimately cared for?
13 – It is over. The breath has left. You are taken down. Letting go of everything. At some point there is no choice but before that at each point I have a choice to attach or to let go. I think I need some of each and don’t always have them straight, as to which is which.
14 – Did you say, “Why me?” Did you say, “Yes, I am richly blessed, a Son of God. I am safe. I am beyond this. I am much more that others know.” Others looked at you as gone and soon they were to see it wasn’t so. Help show me an eternal vision. May that allow me to find my peace.
Resurrection – I cannot leave that off! They had to wait three days. I don’t want to wait at all. How difficult it is for me to remember - wait. Wait on God. In time I will though. I’ll practice patience. I will wait in hope – in joyful hope, with your help.
Thank you, God.
Lynn Durham, RN, Well Being Coach, author of Frazzled to Fantastic! You’re One Thought Away From Feeling Better. www.lynndurham.com 603-926-9700
For a Lenten booklet to download – go to www.thewayofthecrossandresurrection.com
Lynn Schwartz Durham is a mother of three sons and a well-being coach living in New Hampshire, USA. Since her childhood days in Lordship, Connecticut where she held “health camp” at the beach, Lynn has been interested in helping others feel better.
A UConn graduate and registered nurse, Lynn has taught nursing, “Women’s Wellness” and “Spirituality and Health.” Lynn speaks, facilitates retreats, and writes - all focused on well-being …for those who want to release anger, anxiety and anguish … for those who want to embrace, cherish and celebrate life!
Lynn has published over 100 articles and columns, is a contributing author to several books, has an audio book called Dancing Gracefully with Life and is the author of From Frazzled to Fantastic! You’re One Thought Away From Feeling Better,
For many years Lynn was a member of the National Speakers Association, the National Wellness Association and the American Association of Therapeutic Humor. She has studied at the Harvard Deaconess Mind Body Medical Institute in Boston where a fellow participant called her a glass of Prozac!
Lynn is also a NH Real Estate Broker in the lakes and mountains area, a grandmother, an artist, dancer and bridge player.
Through contact with Lynn on TV, radio or in person, people change the way they see their world. Whether we find her with a flower in her hat, or spinach in her teeth, Lynn brings her sense of Joy in the Journey wherever she goes.
