Three Little Words

Three Little Words

By

Jim Van de Riet

Do you remember the first time a girlfriend or a boyfriend or your future spouse said these three little words to you, “I love you.” How old were you? What were the circumstances? Where did it happen? Three little words that evoke such powerful emotions. Maybe a commitment, maybe not. When not reciprocated the relationship fades and eventually dies out. When love is returned a relationship flourishes and is able to endure all the issues and misunderstandings that will come and threaten it.

I love my children and my grandchildren and of course my first love was my wife Betty. Betty was the first and only girlfriend I said those three little words. That is how special she was and is to me. But to say those words and not back them up in the years to follow with positive reinforcements would not ring true. The three little words would be meaningless then.

I believe to further strengthen those three words you have to say the words I forgive you. We are not perfect. If you want to find a perfect person go read some job resumes. How many times have we seen the perfect Hollywood couple’s marriage flounder after a very short time?  If you are looking for forgiveness never use the word but. Such as I am sorry but you were equally at fault. Ask for forgiveness and then say nothing.

Those three little words meaning nothing unless you sacrifice for each other in sickness and in health for richer or poorer as the wedding vow goes. Newly-weds have no idea what the future will bring and are banking on being together will get them through all life’s upsets. I recently read in an advice column where a bride was seeking a divorce from her newly minted husband. The reason:  at the wedding reception the new husband smashed her face into the wedding cake. The whole cake not just one slice. He was told beforehand not to do this by the bride. Communication problems right off the bat. Her relatives were cautioning her against divorce. Sometimes I wonder if the divorce rate is higher for couples who smash the pieces of wedding cake into each other’s face vs those that don’t. But I digress.

Some may say that if you love someone that forgiveness, sacrifice, commitment, and respect will automatically be part of that love. In a perfect world it is all true. But we all fall short of perfection even to the ones we profess love to.

Our Lord, Jesus Christ, sacrificed for us through his dying on the cross. Even on the cross he forgave all. He did not issue any condition with his forgiveness. Isn't that perfect love?

He did not ask for anything in payment for his miracles. He saved the woman about to be stoned to death and only told her to sin no more. He is available to us all day and all night through prayer. He only asks us to love your God above all things even material things and love your neighbor as yourself. Easy to say- very difficult to practice. That is our challenge here on earth. Matthew Kelly, the author and speaker, always says that we should be the best version of ourselves. For myself, like a lot of people, I am striving to just be better everyday. Better in love, forgiveness, commitment and sacrifice. It is not easy but I continue this journey. Falling short comes and goes but I am on this journey and I am striving to be better everyday with God’s help.

Amen