Openness to life and "Danny's Song"

I was blessed to have a beautiful model of married love growing up. The Loggins and Messina tune known as Danny's Song was not a stranger to our home, and I fondly remember my parents exchanging hugs, smiles and knowing looks whenever it played on the radio. I now do the same with my husband, and he places a loving hand on my expanding belly.

For those of you unfamilar with this song, it centers around a pair of newlyweds who, though in less-than-ideal financial circumstances, are excited to begin their family. This message is downright countercultural in a world which falsely equivocates fiscal prudence, a virtue, and materialism, a vice. Certainly, financial distress is listed among the "just causes" in Humanae Vitae; by no means am I here to question any individual couple's discernment on the matter. However, my generation as a whole seems to be moving in the direction of putting off children until their thirties and even forties for the sake of comfort rather than a true sense of responsible stewardship.

In the article linked, the author admits,

"I’m one of those 20-somethings biding my time. If I had a child today, the kid wouldn’t starve [...] We like to sleep in, go on last-minute vacations, and pull all-nighters working on projects we care about. We’d rather spend the money we do have on dates, not diapers."

The author seems to suggest via anecdote that children and the finanicial sacrifices they require are a recipe for divorce, and that leisure time is just as important as "the bottom line" when deciding whether or not to have children. She also considers how science has extended fertility so that women "really can have it all."

We now hear it more commonly suggested that women freeze their eggs (which is against Catholic teaching) in order to successfully put off parenthood while ensuring that women's eggs don't break down as they age, which often causes genetic issues.
In our consumeristic culture, children have become another "at will" expenditure. We can buy them at a fertility clinic when we are finally ready for them and dispose of them at an abortion clinic if we are not.

This contemporary mentality differs from that displayed in the song.

"People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one,
And we've only just begun.
Think I'm gonna have a son.
He will be like she and me, as free as a dove,
Conceived in love.
Sun is gonna shine above.

And even though we ain't got money,
I'm so in love with you, honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning, when I rise,
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright."

Here we see the child as a gift, not a burden. His personhood is granted in the very first verse. The phrase "conceived in love" sounds like it could have been pulled from Pope St. John Paul II's Love and Responsibility. The child's existence is a reason to rejoice. The newlyweds share an love so intimate that, despite being broke, tears of joy are shed rather than tears of anxiety. This is a beautiful example of married love and openness to life.

The phrase I particularly love is that "everything will bring a chain of love." As Catholics, we believe that God, in His essence, is Love itself. Love is a creative act by nature. God created us because He loves us, because He desired to delight in us. By participating in His love through the marital act, we are able to co-create, with God, another soul: created by Love, through love, and for love. This cooperation in Divine Love is going to bring blessings in both this life and the next, but we as humans tend to fear the immediate temporal burdens it may or may not create.

Love should be the root of our decision to have a child, period.

I'm not saying that God will provide perfectly like a personal genie and you will never know struggle. I'm not promising you won't have the occasional argument over a poorly-made decision to spend $20 on fast food, or have to budget creatively, or even possibly need to ask for assistance sometimes. And I'm not saying that couples should throw caution to the wind and start birthing babies for whom they are unable to provide. God gave us the use of reason, and the Church in her wisdom grants us Natural Family Planning as a means of spacing children. Financial distress is a legitimate reason to space children, and love demands the resposibility of providing for both the temporal and spiritual welfare of your family.
However, I am saying that we as a society need to let go of the fears which are associated with starting a family, especially when we hesitate because we don't want to sacrifice any material comforts. We fear being uncomfortable, and we fear that the cost of children will make us so.

But perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18)

We need to realize what a powerful statement of love the family is; recognize the way it's beautifully intertwined with the great mystery of God's Love. We need to have faith that God will provide when we do find ourselves expecting a child in less than ideal circumstances. We need to remember that our families are a physical, tangible reminder that God desires us to be loved and to love.

Everything will bring a chain of love.