If it weren't for the hypocrisy of Christians.

"Christians are hypocrites. They go to church on Sunday and say they love God and neighbor but every other day of the week they act exactly the opposite! If it weren't for Christians, I could be Christian!" I heard this during some spirited and enjoyable conversations with family and friends this past Saturday at my youngest son's birthday party.

I used to lob the same insult. I misunderstood what hypocrisy meant when I launched this accusation against Christians many years ago, as so many others do. Literally rendered it means, actor. That is the sense in which the Pharisees were rebuked by Jesus. Their external actions were in harmony with the Mosaic Law, they lived it out, but interiorly they were just as hard hearted as the pagans [non Jews]. Shooting for the minimum the Law demanded. A hypocrite is someone who says they are your best friend, but secretly harbors resentment against you and tries to thwart you at every turn. Or someone who says, "I'm a capitalist" while consciously being a communist. A hypocrite has a break from the inward out, not the outward in. There is a similar distinction when a false statement is made…. One is only a liar if they intentionally tell an untruth and tries to pass it off as true. If you believe what you’re saying is true, but are in error, the thing is simply a false statement. It would be exaggerating to call someone who is mistaken about a truth, a liar.

Now, I am sure there are hypocrites amongst Christians. But there are so many more who do strive to love God and neighbor but who fail because of personal weakness. This is not unique to the church goer. How many of us have failed to do what we know is right? How many times have we said, "Next time I'll not behave that way", "Next time I will be more patient with my husband or my children or my friends", "Next time I won't raise my voice", "Next time I'll be more understanding", "Next time I'll go that extra mile ... I'll be sympathetic, loving, caring, helpful"... the list goes on. Do we cease to love our husbands or wives or children, friends or strangers, every time we act contrary to our aspirations? Well, no... we do love them, we just failed to behave in a loving way.

Now, I dare say the opposite is not true. While Christians may fail and behave just like their secular counterparts, where is the secular equivalent to Mother Teresa, the Missionaries of Charity, the Little Sisters of the Poor, the Dominicans and Franciscans?

This is not to excuse the bad behavior of Christians, but it may shed light on a very real problem we all share. It is a problem that Christians face head on, "grabbing the bull by the horns" as they say. We all fall short. Some more than others. I've learned that being Christian is hard. Long gone is my own caricature of Christianity that is mambie-pambie, rainbows and unicorns, fluffy bunny rhetoric and easy.

There is an answer to our woundedness and tendency to choose apparent goods rather than real goods. That answer is Christ Jesus.

The Catholic Church teaches that Christ does not ask the impossible and desires to give all people the grace to overcome the faults and short comings in our lives. We need only cooperate with this gift. This is easier said than done for most. It takes time and a lot of effort. Unlike so many other Christian denominations which by observation of external actions they determine whether you’ve “been saved”, the Catholic Church teaches that while externals can be one sign someone takes seriously Christ's promise, there are other considerations. In this sense we read "Judge not, lest ye be judged." When someone fails in some way the Church does not yell hypocrite, she takes the time to explain why the act was wrong but assumes the goodness of the one who failed and invites them to repentance.

Christ wants us to respond to him personally, participating in our own salvation and the salvation of others. He permits bad behavior because he can draw a greater good from it. Becoming holy is a process not a single act, as some suppose, precisely because He desires our participation. This is why He founded the Church. We are not perfect and THEN enter into the Church. We recognize that we are NOT perfect and go to the Church for help. The response of the Church is Christ's response and that of the father in the parable of the Prodigal son; she [the Church] runs to our aid, meeting us where we are on our individual journey.

Christian hope acknowledges that God is all powerful, all good and [because he revealed it to us] wants us to be happy with Him forever. He can work REAL change in us. We have hope that, with God's grace, we can overcome our selfish, controlling, arrogant behavior that can be very disheartening and damaging to others as well as ourselves. Christians understand that God works with us, over time and usually through ordinary means to effect change. It may not happen today, tomorrow or a year from now but it will happen.

Everyone sees our failings, but what remains unseen are all the small interior victories and the shift in orientation away from ourselves and toward others.