Bullying: Does It Ever End??

Just one bully can turn a simple activity like walking down the hallway into a nightmare. If you've never been bullied before, you're in luck but I have and I know just how horrifying it can be for a kid.

Bullying is the abuse and mistreatment of someone vulnerable by someone (supposedly) stronger, more powerful, and more dominating. It can happen both in person or online and may include making derogatory remarks about a person like name-calling and nicknaming, spreading rumors or lying about someone, threatening someone, and yelling at or talking to someone rudely. It tends to happen most often in and around schools so children and teens are the easiest target and are often bullied in the places where they are vulnerable or cannot easily leave.

Bullying is gradually becoming a huge problem in all public and private schools. In saner climes, teachers, administrators, and specialists will work their butts off to ensure that every kid is safe and no one gets to erode the love of learning and school from a child by their mean behavior and go scot-free, but the world has become a morally destitute universe and that just doesn't ever happen. 

Parents, you must keep this in mind as you think about how your child is doing at school. No one is ever going to take care of and protect your little one the way you will, no one is going to safeguard your daughter or your son for you...it's a cold place out there and they need your warmth and security. If your child is unhappy about something that is going on at school, it is wise to suspect that bullying might be part of the problem. It's not okay to keep speculating and doing nothing in the end. You're not overreacting, you're not being "too protective", you are just being a parent and what that means is stepping in every single time. So talk about it with the school and your child. It normally doesn't go away on its own; it leaves debilitating marks on kids. Your child won't suddenly become an impregnable fortress to bullying; he will lose concentration and confidence. Don't sacrifice your child's happiness on the altar of a defunct society. Take your decisions with tact and persistence.

Signs Of Bullying.

If you're not sure whether your child is being bullied but suspects he might be mistreated in school, here are ten ways to detect bullying:

1. Physical signs of bullying; This is the most obvious sign. If your child comes home with unexplained bruises, cuts, or scratches you can be sure something went seriously wrong at school.

2. Your child comes home with damaged belongings or clothes.

3. Vanishing friends; Lookout, he might just have become a target for bullying and who wants to hang around the one dude who gets poked at right?

4. Comes home hungry.

5. Sudden mood changes.

6. Changes in his sleeping patterns.

7. Losing interest in school work or other school-related projects.

8. Dropping grades.

9. Periodical outbursts of anger or tears.

10. Anxiety (especially when it's time to leave for school)

Here's what you can do about it.

So I'm just going to add here that sometimes, just sometimes, kids get bullied because they lack social skills. In this case, it is the responsibility of parents to teach them how to communicate, make friends, and do what they love. Encouraging your child to engage in activities that he loves can go a long way to boost his confidence.

Other practical steps you can follow to help your kid out include;

1. Talking to your kid calmly about what is going on. Do this with an assurance that shows to him that you totally understand and that you care deeply about him and his safety. Make sure he understands that you will not tolerate bullying at home or anywhere else.

2. Work with your child to practice ways to handle being bullied like ignoring the hurtful remarks that the bully throws at him, standing up to the bully and telling him to stop, acting bravely every time he is being targeted, and walking away, or even ignoring the bully completely. 

3. As you continue to encourage your little one to be an upstander, take action! Ask for a meeting with the teacher, especially if it is severe and repeated bullying that won't stop, if you get no results ask for a meeting with the principal. Don't stop until something can be done on an administrative level.

4. Try socializing. Bring the fun to your doorstep. Think of working on organizing playdates with kids at the school your kid attends or in the neighborhood.

5. If things don't turn out right after all these measures, seek advice and help from a psychologist or educational consultant.