Trusting God While Feeding His People

While reflecting on the Gospel of John (6: 1-15), Jesus was giving the instructions to Philip and Andrew. Both Philip and Andrew were worried about using 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to feed close to 5,000 people. Eventually, the Apostles have the crowds of people recline and feed them. Of course, the Apostles were worried about using six months of wages to gather food. They were worried about how people would not have their full. They watched Jesus give thanks and distribute the food. The Apostles were worried about a million and one things.

How could the Apostles, who knew and watched Jesus perform miracles everyday, not have trust that He would perform a miracle? More importantly, how could the Apostles not have trust that Jesus would not allow the people to go hungry, but have more food to eat with some left over. And yet, while trying to listen to the Homily the only word that I kept having pop into my head was "trust"!

I am certain Father did not mention anything about trust. But my mind kept going back to it. I do remember Father giving us a challenge to think about how God never forgets us. So if Father was speaking about God pining for our love, why was my mind running to trust? Was it the fact that I used the time before Mass to read the reflections for the Daily Readings or was it the fact that God was truly trying to tell me, "I got this. You just need to Trust the Plan. Stop being like the Apostles, and just have faith and TRUST ME. I do this every day and every night."

We all do it. We know we are supposed to give our complete selves to God. We are supposed to allow him to have our complete trust. We know that He will provide us with the things that we need to make His Plans for us come into realities. Yet, why is it that we are like Philip and Andrew and even doubting Thomas at times, that we can not give complete trust to God? No matter how many times I go to God and tell him, "I got this", it is God telling me to just have complete trust in Him. Let Him have the reins, and He will provide. Of course, I need to do some of the work and more importantly, I need to ask God for his help and guidance. It is God telling me to listen to the voice of trust and just to continue to deepen my Catholic faith.

So when Father gave his flock the challenge to remember that God never forgets us, I just needed to change the challenge to remember that I always just need to Trust in God. Of course, there is a lot of meditation that needs to be done this week as I need to stop being like the Apostles and more like Jesus.