Transphobic Much? Learn to fly.

This morning I read an article about a Berkeley Law Professor (female) who was trying to correct a U.S. Senator, Josh Hawley in a debate about Abortion. She called him “transphobic” because he did not recognize that men could give birth. This is like calling someone “racist” in the crazy world of politics. People throw these words around like they actually know what they mean. I’ve experienced it, and perhaps you have too, when someone is frustrated and cannot think of anything rational to say, so they say something like “Your mother wears combat boots!” or “You’re stinky!”. It’s childish. However its also potentially damaging in a culture that forbids real though processes in favor of slogans or manufactured realities.

“Phobic” or “Phobia” is irrational fear. Some people have taken the word, and like other words, have changed them to mean something else. This is evidence for an irrational fear of reality and a step into the insane world of not only subjective morality and values but a subjective philosophy of reality. These poor people have convinced themselves and many others that one can and must create one’s own reality and force their view of that reality on others.

Psychosis is a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality. However, our culture (hopefully not Catholic Culture) has elevated these insane ideas to the level of acceptance that threatens the psychological, physical and spiritual health of anyone who believes them or is effected by them, doing severe harm to even those of us who reject the ideas as they are being forced on us like the ideas of Nazis or Communists who murdered many millions of people and even now continue to do so, imposing their psychological slavery on millions more.

Our concern about this is not an “irrational fear” at all. It is simply an awareness that we are not going to go down the same horrible path as the insane.

So, what is the sane response to all of this? I’ve tried various things in my own life with folks who have said irrational things. After doing an internship with a Psychiatrist I have learned that going along with the ideas isn’t going to help anyone. I met this Psychiatrist when he was teaching at the Seminary. We took classes in basic psychological problems and how to do some recognition of them so that we could refer people who were in need of more than spiritual counseling. Then I went to see him for my irrational fear of flying. I had flown in commercial airlines for years, but when I went up in a small plane with friends everything changed. I developed “fear of flying” and I suffered through long flights clenching the arms of the seat.

When I went to see the Psychiatrist he and I talked for two sessions before I got my treatment. The prescription was to do one day’s hard physical labor and then take a flying lesson. I wondered if the doctor had gone mad himself. But I did it. I spent a day with a buddy who was a tile setter. I hadn’t worked so hard in years. I was on my knees with tile, lifting crates of tile, cutting tile on a machine and sweating in the summer sun. I got home, took a shower and went to bed without dinner. I wondered if I would learn anything from it, or if it was just a torture scheme to make me forget that I had fear of flying.

The next week I went for a flying lesson. Coincidentally I had a friend who was giving flying lessons at Santa Barbara airport. I arrived and he met me at the car and told me that I didn’t have to get out of the car. He didn’t want to force me into it. I got out of the car and told him I’d try it. He did that as we got into the airport office, before we went to the airplane and as we sat in the cockpit. He tried to convince me that I’d be just fine if I didn’t fly the plane. But if I wanted to fly the plane I could. I said I’d do it. He told me that he’d do the runway and then let me have control of the plane when we got off the ground. I knew I couldn’t do that part, so I agreed and we took off. When we were over Santa Barbara I was taken with the beauty of the landscape and the sea, but I was still fearful. Finally he said “OK, take the wheel. Just don’t make any sudden moves. Treat it like it’s a car on a highway for now.” I took the controls and suddenly my fear went away. I told him that and he laughed and said: “I thought that might happen!” We both laughed as I flew the little plane towards the mountains and then toward the ocean. I wanted to keep on flying when he said “It’s been an hour, we should get back”. I was amazed at how fast the time had gone by. I flew toward the airport and then he took the controls and landed the plane. When he had taxied the plane to the hangar and turned the engine off I said “Rob, that was amazing! You handled me perfectly and got me through that! How did you know what to do? Why did you tell me I didn’t have to do anything, but let me take my own time?” He laughed and said “I’ve been going to see Dr. Ralph for almost a year now. He told me you were going to contact me and said to handle you this way.” We both laughed and laughed!

The lesson I learned was that people must face reality and not run from it. But getting them to face that reality must be done with their real progress and good in mind. I’ve helped a lot of people face reality in the 30 years since that flying lesson. Rob and I are still friends and he’s a pilot for a major airline. He and his wife have two grown sons. The lessons I have learned have helped me not only with that problem but with many others.

That Berkely Law Professor probably needs a hard day's labor and a “flying lesson”.

By the way, what was the day of hard labor for? It was to remind me that I’m a man, not just a Priest in a collar. I need to get to work and DO things in order to learn things!