How Spiritual Direction Helped Me

I know you are probably saying that spiritual direction is for saints and holy people and you would be right. Aren’t we all holy people? Isn’t the goal in life to live as close to the life of a saint as we can? At least that’s what I’ve always been taught. But as I have read and learned recently, spiritual direction is for anyone who wants to deepen their relationship with God, find out how God is working through you and what more you can do in your life to be closer to God. Here is my story of why I discovered I needed and wanted spiritual direction and the relationship I have with my spiritual director.

I had been wanting to deepen my faith and my closeness to God for quite a long time and being the avid reader I am, I read many books and articles on different religious people. John Paul II being one of the ones I read about all the time. The Diary of St. Faustina had also been recommended for me to read. In reading both items, I found that they had received very good advice from their spiritual directors. It got me to thinking – who gets a spiritual director? Is it only for those people who are on the road to sainthood (because if that’s the case, then my article should stop right here). As I asked more questions, I came to realize that spiritual direction is for anyone who wants to deepen their relationship with God and learn what more they can do in their life to do that.

Now I have to start off with the one thing that spiritual direction is not – counseling. It is not for you to go to him or her and get sound advice on what to do in certain situations, although at times that may happen. This is immensely spiritual in nature and the guidance you receive is for the spiritual part of your life. It may pour into the other parts of your life but the main part is to develop you into a more spiritually aware person who wants to live their life more like Jesus.

Again before I get into the awesome things my spiritual director has done for me, there has been many times, more often than not, that he tells me things that I simply do not want to hear. And that is his job! He is speaking to me through the Holy Spirit, guiding me to be a better Catholic and Christian and giving me advice on how to do that. Many times it involves changing myself and looking deeper into my faults and if you are not willing to seriously do that, then spiritual direction is not for you. Again it is not easy for me to hear these things he tells me, but they are necessary and are always right on the money.

My spiritual director is a very special person. I say this because he not only has to deal with me for spiritual direction, which is not an easy task if done correctly, but he also has to deal with me on an everyday basis as well. I am very thankful for his openness to being my spiritual director. It is not for all religious or lay people and he is very willing to work with me. If you don’t know me well, I am not an easy person to work with at times. I am strong willed and stubborn (I’m working on it) and change does not come easy for me but he is very understanding and quite patient!

The first time he and I met it was a bit awkward as it wasn’t the typical meeting we normally have. First we had Confession and then we chatted about what I was feeling and where I was in my relationship with God and where did I want to go from there. He asked several questions and we discussed things that I could do to work on my relationship with God. He suggested that I begin to pray this 54 day novena to Mary each morning and do all three mysteries each day. He said his mother does it and she says her prayers are always answered. So I did. I woke up every morning about thirty minutes earlier than before and began to say the novena. I said it for all the intentions people had asked me to pray for although I know that it is traditionally for one specific intention but I couldn’t leave anyone out. Many of those people’s prayers were answered!

I was truly inspired by the novena and several other things we had discussed. We also talked about that fact that I had wanted to start a fast for the New Year and my husband (who is always very supportive of all my endeavors) said it was not a good time of year. It was January and fruit and veggies are expensive. My husband wanted to know if I could wait for a different time of year or until the prices went down. I told my director – seriously? He wants me to wait – I feel like I need to do it now. He advised me to look at it from my husband’s perspective. Out of nowhere, I wanted to do this. I couldn’t explain why. I really honestly didn’t know why but I felt like I needed to. So I left our spiritual direction with the idea that I will try to be understanding. A couple days into the fast (as I am stubborn) my husband could see that it wasn’t just a phase and I was sticking to it, he not only helped me to prepare foods but joined me in not only the fasting but the spiritual aspect as well. He lost 75 pounds, looks great and feels great and is more spiritually aware. I lost 25 pounds and am much more spiritual than ever! AMAZING!

I think for me the next session we had has made the most impact on my life since we started. Not that all the other times he has not guided me well because he certainly has but you’ll see what I mean. In this session, we were discussing the usual spiritual things and one of the suggestions he made was for me to attend a 30 day Ignatian retreat. Did I mention those are SILENT retreats? I laughed as I thought that was my penance. Again for those who don’t know me, I am very talkative and being silent is a task for me. But he was serious. He thought I would really enjoy and get a lot out of an Ignatian retreat. He had me look up St. Ignatius and read about him as part of my penance (I hope I can say that). It got me curious. I read up on him and the retreat and I thought that it sounded good but I certainly did not have 30 days to be away – I have a husband, three children and a job! But I soon discovered, with my director’s help, that there are smaller ones. In fact there was a weekend one not too far from my house. I debated and talked it over with my husband. Finances were tight and he wasn’t sure if it was in the budget so I let it go. But it was always on my mind, like I was being pushed to go for it. I explained to my husband that I couldn’t explain it but I felt like I needed to go. We worked out the finances and low and behold – I went!

That retreat has transformed my life. I was so inspired by the people I met and the talks I heard. In the silence, it was easy for God to talk to me and for me to hear Him. If you ever get the chance, try a silent retreat. You will be forever changed for the better and your life will be that much fuller with God.

I would not have even thought about that retreat or the novena or many other suggestions that have truly enhanced my spiritual life had it not been for my spiritual director. Again I am not saying that it is for everyone as I am sure it may not be. But if you are looking to deepen your relationship with God and are willing to take a real hard look at yourself, be willing to admit your faults, be able to talk about them and be willing to change (all of which are still a struggle for me but with God’s help I’m working on it), then you may benefit from spiritual direction. If it is not for you, no worries but I would still recommend going to confession regularly as you will be given grace as you leave the confessional and who knows, you may hear something from that priest that may change your life!