A Restless Heart

I am the kind of person that likes to keep busy. When I'm at work, my best days are the one filled with so many tasks I may not complete them all by the end of the day. At home, I tend to keep busy with must do tasks, such as buying groceries or doing the dishes. If no must do tasks are available I will usually go to entertainment.

When I'm going through some sort of crisis time in my life, such as dealing with an unexpected move, or job change, I have so much to do there is not time to think, just do. But, when everything is going well, it's then I start becoming restless. Despite being in a very good situation, I start scrutinizing my life looking for any imperfections and I feel somehow dissatisfied.

I don't think I'm alone in this. We are constantly seeking more of everything and yet are never satisfied. I don't think this is a new problem either. Since the beginning of time mankind has desired more. [Genesis 2:16-17] "The Lord God gave man this order: 'You are free to eat from any of the trees of the garden except the tree of knowledge of good and bad. From that tree you shall not eat;.....'" we all know what happened. Adam and Eve ate from the one tree they were forbidden to eat from. They had everything, a great place to live, a relationship with God, all kinds of food, all the free time they wanted, and yet they were not satisfied. If the first two people to ever walk the face of the Earth were not satisfied then how can any of us ever hope to be satisfied?

Adam and Eve's problem, like many of us today, is that they wanted to be gods themselves rather than relay upon God. God happily gave them everything they needed, and yet when given the option to do it themselves they thought, 'yes, why rely upon God when we can be gods ourselves?' [Gn 3:4-5] "But the serpent said to the woman: 'You certainly will not die! No, God knows well that the moment you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods who know what is good and what is bad.'" The desire for more was a part of the human race from the beginning. God gave Adam and Eve everything and taught them good and bad Himself, but they wanted more, what if they could know of good and bad themselves? What if they could be gods themselves?

Why did God create us this way? Some have called it a God shaped hole in our hearts. St. Augustine sums it up this way, "My heart is restless until it finds its rest in Thee." We were created to love and be loved by God. Only God can satisfy us and He has made us so we feel incomplete without Him, because of His great desire to love and be loved by us. His creations can often serve as a balm, but only He himself can calm our restless hearts. When we try to do it ourselves we only end up getting ourselves into trouble because only God can see the whole picture and we were created to be in community with Him and with each other, not solo beings who live only for ourselves.

Adam and Eve knew God, but not entirely, God had not yet reveled the Trinity and thus mankind's understanding of God was limited. We have a much greater opportunity to come to love and be loved by God today because we know of God the Father, Son, & Holy Spirit. However, our knowledge is still not complete. It would not be surprising to me if human beings can never fully understand the greatness of God in all of their eternity, much less their lifetime. So the ache in our hearts and the craving for more remains.

This craving is meant to draw us closer to The Lord's Sacred Heart. We make a mistake when we seek to rely upon ourselves in our search for more and we start seeking fulfillment from the wrong things or from people who can not quench our desire for a perfect and infinite love. Instead we must surrender more and more to God and allow Him to provide for us, this will bring us more peace.

The trick is not fearing that restless feeling, but recognizing it as call from the Lord. Perhaps the Lord is calling us to surrender something to Him, or perhaps He desires to be with us. Perhaps the next time we get that restless feeling, like something is wrong with our lives, we should stop and allow the Lord to fill us up with His love and goodness, and simply be still for a moment in His presence.