4 Ways We Pick Our Poison in Media

When it comes to books, movies and television, many of us have had our guilty pleasures at one time or another. I sure have. There comes a point though when we can't reconcile consuming junk and then turning around and putting out goodness.

There's comes a point when God answers our prayer to "search me O Lord," and He asks us to take a hard look at what we let in to our hearts and minds. 

- 1- 

"You have to keep an open mind." 

One of the main problems with arguing that "you have to keep an open mind" is that you end being so "open" to everything that you aren't steadfast about much of anything. Open-mindedness as preached by the catechism of our culture necessarily leads to a kind of moral relativism. 

For example, I had a conversation just yesterday with an acquaintance who encouraged me to have an open mind and go see "50 Shades of Grey." She explained at length how [main character] Christian Grey, a tortured soul who happens to have sexual tastes that tend toward torture, "had a hard childhood and that's why he's so messed up and ultimately he needs [Ana] and her love to save him!"My first thought: anything in the media that makes us sympathize with evil should be suspect, because that sympathy leads us to lessen our indignation at evil.

This acquaintance of mine had been duped into glossing over the disturbing, explicit and pornographic content of the film. The idea that it is all okay in the end because she saves him, right?

We should all feel deep compassion for a human being who must have had something terrible happen to him to pervert him thus, but Christian Grey is not a real person. He is a fictional character in a film produced to make money. The author of the 50 Shades trilogy, as well as the filmmakers, deliberately strive to make us sympathize with Christian Grey to the point that an otherwise severely unhealthy and abusive relationship less disturbing to us.

- 2- 

"But the characterization/story/acting/music/writing is so good!"

What we are really saying is that everything else is so good that we don't mind a little bit of trash thrown in.

The thing is, all those little bits of trash we justify to ourselves add up to desensitization to what is not good, or holy, or rightly ordered.

One of the devil’s sneakiest tricks is sneaking something bad into something good. An important point to remember is that TV, music, movies and even books are art. Art is a representation of reality, and reality can be ugly and sinful. But just because something can be considered art doesn't mean that it's worthy of being consumed. A Christian needs to be asking honest questions about what he or she is choosing to watch or read. "Where does this piece lead me and others? How does it make me feel? Does this lead me toward God? Toward virtue or even a deeper understanding of my fellow human being? Or does this draw me away from God by creating temptation or drawing up impure thoughts?" 

Just because something is uncomfortable or graphic doesn't mean that we automatically need to turn away. Consider the scene in the recent movie version of Les Miserables, when good and virtuous Fantine finally falls into prostitution to provide for her daughter. It's an incredibly uncomfortable and emotional scene--and powerful. Millions of people were confronted with the real tragedy, horror and degradation of prostitution--and I wonder if more than a few hearts were not touched with truth. 

A TV show can have a killer story line and great acting, but if you know that every episode or so is going to have an obligatory sex scene, maybe there's some honest and prayerful soul-searching that should be happening. Even with fast-forwarding, you're still going to catch the drift of what's going on. The same goes with books.

There's an elephant in the room that needs to be mentioned regarding sexual content in particular: there are millions of men and women struggling with addictions to pornography. I've talked with too many people suffering deeply in their relationships from that demon. So many of them are your neighbors, your friends, and the people sitting next to you in church. I don't think it's going overboard to take the Bible's instruction to "guard your heart and mind" seriously. Sometimes people are so concerned about not being too "extreme" or "putting themselves in a bubble" that they don't say no enough to media that isn't good for them. What are we so afraid of? Not watching a TV show is a small thing compared to eternity. We cannot outgive God. 

- 3 -

"That's great for them, but I don't feel called to that right now."

That's a tough line to follow in a conversation. After all, who can argue with you if you don't feel called to it?Spiritual maturity takes time. Some things that were acceptable to me five years ago media-wise aren't even on my radar of "okay" these days.

If you are on the receiving end of this excuse with regards to media, I think you just have to pray in the moment about whether the greatest charity you can show to that person is to keep your mouth shut, or to point out that what they "don't feel called to" is a matter of mortal sin. Sometimes it is for us simply to let the witness of our lives plant the seeds that the Holy Spirits nurtures over time with little pokes and prods to people's consciences. I can attest to the fact that those little pokes and prods get annoying after a while.

It is also important not to be snobby or condescending to others regarding their choices. Find a way to communicate or live out your preferences with quiet humility. There's usually a way to let people know what you're about without making them feel like they're going straight to you-know-where. Then again, there are always going to be some people who feel like you're judging them no matter how gracefully and quietly you opt out of something. That reaction is due to those little pokes and prods of conscience rather than anything you've said or done.

- 4 -

"It doesn't affect me."

It's true that what is too violent or too crude for one person may not be as scandalizing to the next person. But even for the most desensitized among us, what we consume does affect us--as surely as what we eat nourishes us, makes us fat, or makes us sick. 

Being desensitized to violence, sexually explicit material, or other objectionable material in the media should be a flag for us. Anything that hardens our hearts to things that are not from God needs to be thought about with God at our side.

Additionally, is it not a form of pride to think that we will be the one person to be immune from the harm? What we consume affects us, whether we think it does or not. Everything we choose to consumer either draws us more toward God or leads us away from Him.

St. John of the Cross compared the soul to a pane of glass. When the pane of glass does not directly face the light, the smudges and stains on it are barely noticeable. But when the pane of glass is turned directly toward the light, every little stain, smudge, and fingerprint stands out. The more directly we turn to face the light of God's love, the more we can see all of those little smudges and stains on our soul, and the more we desire to clean them off.

Fr. Robert Barron writes that, "this explains the paradox that the saints are most keenly aware of their sins, even to the point of describing themselves as the worst of sinners. We might mistake this for false modesty, but it is in fact a function of truly saintly psychology." The more we turn our souls toward God in our lives, the more we naturally censor the media that we consume.