
Why did Satan fall?
All the commentators I’ve read say that he fell through pride, and I have no problem with that; but what form did it take? I mean, what could possibly have been so attractive to him that he would reject the living God?
I remember once struggling over some matter or another—I forget now what it was—and I must have known what God wanted me to do, but was reluctant. The question then popped into my head, Why can’t I think my own thoughts?
That idea brought me up short at the time; and, with a strange certainty, I knew that this had to have been Satan’s first independent thought.
‘I want to think my own thoughts.’ Such a simple concept, and yet it is the root of all ungodliness, pride, and rebellion. By merely letting that thought in, Satan made his break with God, because he’d realized that he didn’t have to be constrained by God’s will anymore, but could act independently. And so he sought to be treated as equal to God.
Now, God is fundamentally simple—He is Love (1 Jn 4:16). That’s it, and everything follows from it; and there is not a single good that He has not conceived. But to think one’s own thoughts independently from God alienates us from all of that, for there is no neutral country between God and not-God. It’s an either-or proposition—God creates; Satan destroys. God loves; Satan hates …. You get the picture. There’s no fence we can sit on and watch.
But, you ask, what’s the big deal here? Where’s the problem? Don’t we seek to stand equal with those around us? After all, we count it a virtue to be able to think for ourselves.
Of course, because God never meant us to be slaves to any creature. But for a creature to seek equality with the Creator—even a creature as fine and powerful as Satan was before he fell—is ludicrous. There is simply no comparison. God is independent of anything; we are totally dependent on Him for everything, even our very existence. We can claim nothing as our own. As St Paul asks rhetorically, ‘What do you have that you did not receive?’ (1 Cor 4:7 NRSV)
You see, God never created us—or the angels—to be free agents in the universe.
‘But we have free will!’ you may claim, and of course that is true … as far as it goes; but it is a gift, one meant for a very specific purpose—which does not include self-will.
And that purpose? God made us to love—as testified to by all the saints since the beginning of time—and love cannot be love unless it is freely given, for there can be no personal relationship with robots.
The Virgin Mary’s fiat at the conception of Jesus and at the foot of the cross would have been meaningless if she’d had no choice in the matter; but she loved God fiercely, and defined herself strictly according to His will.
Satan fell because he wanted to define himself.
What defines you?