Catholics and the 12 Steps: 2. Recovery, Conversion and Reversion Images

By Dr. Bob

01/11/2022 • View profile

Catholics and the 12 Steps: 2. Recovery, Conversion and Reversion Images

INTRODUCTION

In the first article in this series I discussed (briefly) the 12 Sts and their intersection with Catholic teaching. With that background in mind one can better appreciate how recovery from alcoholism and addiction, conversion to the Catholic faith, and reversion back to the faith are part of a package.

When I first wrote this article I was going to tell stories of individuals. After much thought and inner debate I decided I wasn’t up to the task. Moreover, to relate in full childhood background, descent to a bottom, the beginnings of recovery, finding faith, requires an article for each story, and I’m not up that either. Further, there is the 12th Tradition of AA to keep in mind: preserve anonymity. So, what I’ll do is to recount my own story, much abbreviated, and then give images from the rooms that have stuck in my mind. I hope these will allow the reader to see how recovery, conversion, reversion are part of one 12 Step package.

MY OWN STORY

As an agnostic Jew married to a cradle Catholic, I was, so to speak, exposed to the Catholic Church. However, a belief that everything could be explained by science was my antibody to conversion. It was after my youngest son succumbed in his teenage years to alcoholism and addiction that I learned through the 12 Steps that I was powerless to solve this problem, but that a Higher Power, God, could. As the paraphrase of the first three of the 12 Steps has it: “I can’t, God can, I’ll let Him do it.”

After the first two years in Alanon, the 12 Step Program for family members or friends of alcoholics and addicts, I became dissatisfied with the term “Higher Power.” To me it seemed too vague, an Orwellian device for enabling atheists and agnostics to undertake a 12 Step program. So I started to read about Christ. In particular, I found a book “Who Moved the Stone,” by Frank Morison. (I now believe that it was Grace that led me to the book.)

Although the author’s initial purpose in writing this book was to disprove the Resurrection, he became convinced (and presented the case) that the evidence given in the New Testament, with all its contradictions, should convince an impartial jury (i.e. one not composed of evangelical atheists) that the Resurrection did occur. Moreover, the historical evidence implicit in the spread of Christianity argues for the reality of the Resurrection. As an old Catholic MD (who was also a scholar in Hebrew) put it: “How could a bunch of Yahoos—fishermen, tax collectors, and women—have spread the Gospel unless they had seen the resurrected Christ and thus were able to convince skeptics of its reality.”

Thus I converted to the Catholic Church. The story of how my faith progressed from head to heart is not for this article, although I may tell it elsewhere. But what I propose to relate here are images of recovery, reversion to the faith and conversion. Take these as a literary teaser, a montage, bits and pieces that have stuck in my memory banks. In order to preserve anonymity, details are omitted or modified.

RECOVERY, REVERSION, CONVERSION

Before recounting images of recovery, I want to examine two ways in which the stories I’ve heard are alike.

Family Background and Childhood History. In all the stories I’ve heard there is a history of alcoholism or addiction in the family. The child will then as an adult follow that path, either by becoming an alcoholic or addict, or by marrying one. There is usually a pattern of abuse, sometimes physical, more often verbal; there can be non-verbal abuse shown as a lack of love. In response to this dysfunction, the child will often then become either an over- or an under=achiever. (“I’ll show them that I’m Ok,” or “What’s the use—they’ve told me I’m no good.”) The recovering alcoholic, addict, workaholic, or co-dependent might then go from AA to ACA (ACOA), “Adult Children of Alcoholics,” as a finishing school, to learn how to reparent the “Inner Child” in him/herself.

Hitting a Bottom. The bottom that every alcoholic or addict hits is the beginning of recovery. You can see many stories of alcoholics and addicts hitting a bottom in this web search. In the stories I’ve heard from Calix Zoom meetings, conversion or reversion to faith follows naturally the first steps of recovery, although it may take some years. Once one accepts the God-given grace for recovery, one becomes receptive to the grace given for conversion. One more point: the descent to the bottom and the ascent to recovery for alcoholics and addicts are steep, like a V-shaped curve. For co-dependents and those suffering from process addictions (food, work, people), the curve is shallower, U-shaped. The bottom is less well-defined but it is still there.

ESH, “EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPE,” IMAGES

Acronyms are important in the 12 Steps: for example, “HOW: Honest. Open, Willing;” “ESH: Experience, Strength and Hope.” It is ESH that is shared in the rooms, which is the prescription for recovery, both for those who tell the stories and for those who listen. I’ve only listed a few of these, ones where coincidence seems to have directed the person to a 12 Step Meeting, recovery and faith. But then isn’t coincidence God’s way of remaining anonymous?

Mike W: I’m in the snow, must have fallen after the all-night drinking spree; there’s a church across the street. I’ll go in and get warm. There’s noise from the basement: I’ll go down and see what’s happening. Look! coffee on the table there. And a bunch of people sitting around a table. What the …! It’s an AA meeting. A couple of guys are saying Hello, come on in….(Later) my first step to sobriety. I came back to that church and went to Mass for the first time in many years. ..

Sr. Mary Joseph. I am so sad and depressed. I’ve lost my faith. Is this my calling? I’m sneaking food, and thoughts I have are not those for a religious. Look! there’s Catherine in front of the Ward D elevator with a dog. She must be doing volunteer work like me. She looks great, lost a lot o weight since high school. We talk. She tells me about an Overeaters Anonymous group in a UCC Church two blocks away. I think I’ll go..(Later) My OA sponsor (she’s Catholic) tells me to go to a priest for Step 5*. It’ll be like Confession. I go to a strange parish for this, call up the priest and make an appointment. When I arrive I tell the priest I’m afraid to go through with this. He tells me not to worry, he’s been sober for 22 years in AA and knows all about the 12 Steps. God is good! He’s enabled me to know that I’m loved by Him.

Bill Q Here I am in a hospital bed, tubes in my arms. I guess the operation was successful. Don’t remember much except the chest pain and going in the ambulance. I got so teed off when that supplier didn’t come through. I’ve been in AA for three years, sober, but still unhappy. Working 60 hours a week, I don’t get much time with the wife and kids…too tired when I get home. I guess the doc’s right when he called me a workaholic. But I’ve made something of myself, despite what my dad said would happen to me. (Later at home, convalescing.) Let’s see what’s on the internet for workaholic. Hey! a guys meeting on the internet… (Later). They’re saying a lot about an action plan, including a morning prayer, meditation. Maybe I’ll go back to Church and bend the knee there. I need something besides work.

There are many more, stories from men, women, old, young, priests, lay people. Stories of family estrangement and reconciliation, stories of degradation and climbing out of the pit. Would that I had a silver tongue (or pen) and could put them all down in a way to make the message known to everyone seeking recovery.