The Secret of Friendship, as Shown by Cinderella

How do we build friendships? Most often, there is a shared interest that unites us. But there still seems to be something more to building worthwhile friendships. Having the kind of friends that can own the title “treasure” (Sirach 6:14) takes something very specific. It takes virtue.

Not only is virtue the root of any friendship worth keeping, Scripture also tells us that it is the key: “There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend, and no scales can measure his excellence. A faithful friend is an elixir of life; and those who fear the Lord will find him. Whoever fears the Lord directs his friendship aright, for as he is, so is his neighbor” (Sirach 6:15–17). If we love and serve our Lord Jesus, and truly have a friendship with Him in prayer, we will become like Him. Moreover, those who have the same mission will be drawn to you. Christ is not just one more uniting interest. An interest in Jesus just so happens to serve as the foundation for great friendships. Virtue attracts others that share the same desire to be holy because “true friendship and virtue are inseparable; you cannot have one without the other” (Genuine Friendship).

No offense to the sweet songbirds, mice, chickens, horse, and dog that serve as Cinderella’s pals, but if Cinderella is so virtuous, why does it appear that she has trouble making friends with people? Well, first, she obviously does not get out much. Second, the phrase “Birds of a feather flock together” is a perfectly fitting phrase in Cinderella’s case. Her stepfamily might be considered kin, but they aren’t of the same “feather.” Cinderella seems to have more in common with birds than her own “fowl” family. And the main reason for the friendship barrier is that Cinderella lives by virtue, while her stepfamily operates by way of vice. They isolate and eventually lock Cinderella in a tower for a selfish agenda. They assign her endless chores and place constant demands upon her. They give her rags to wear, and, when threatened and jealous, they destroy her clothes and call her names.

If you are feeling cast aside, could it be that those around you are more connected by vice than by virtue? Just like Cinderella’s stepfamily, these cliques, whether they realize it or not, are united by their vice—maybe self-absorption, a tendency toward rudeness, gossip, bad language, making fun of others, jealousy, promiscuity, intemperance, or often simply a lack of Jesus in their lives. Often people of vice will despise those seeking to live by virtue. Be strong, and never sell out!

Unlike those who live by vice, a person of virtue is one who centers “his or her life on what is truly good, as opposed to self-gratification, is capable of an unselfish, other-centered stance” (Friendship: The Art of Happiness). Perhaps this is why Cinderella, a woman of virtue, acted as a true servant toward others, even those who did not treat her with charity. She was consistent in virtue no matter the case, and this allowed her to be a real friend. What kind of friend are you? And what kind of friends do you have?

This article is an excerpt from my book, "The Princess Guide":

For more insights on life, faith and femininity from Cinderella, read my book, "The Princess Guide: Faith Lessons from Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty."