Perpetual Sanctification (part 3)

I am still waiting for the Priest’s words to ring true. I am waiting on the Grace of the Sacrament of Matrimony, as if it will somehow present itself and all will be well. I think we are all like this, we want to see immediate results, feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, and be healed now!

I have not found that to be the norm, if it is not porn on the twitter feed, it’s someone repeating inappropriate language heard at school, to another questioning our moral values that do not sync up with societal values, not to mention the mired of daily nuances of family life, living in this secular world.

Sometimes I wonder how any of us hold it all together, especially when it feels like the universe is against us!! I am sure you can relate!! But I digress.

As I relay the information about the origins of the {porn tweet} as we now call it. I feel confident, when my daughter comes home, we will rationally talk about the detrimental effects of porn and the how it affects the dignity of the human person, both male and female.

It is at this point, that once again, the rug is pulled out from under me. My husband looks me in the eye, shakes his head and says the dreaded words, “I have to tell you something.” Immediately, my heart sinks, my mind starts reeling, reliving every conversation, permission granted and current drama searching for some clue as to what it could be.

As he tells me the latest antics of our tribe, I am shocked {although, I don’t know why, I guess, I like to think my children know better} as shock gives way to disbelief, I am waiting for Matrimonial Grace to swoop in to help us.

I’m not really sure how I kept my composure, it was like an out of body experience, I heard him, I understood him, yet I simple just sat there and absorbed the enormity of the revelation.

Parenting is no different today than it was for our parents and their parents before them. The only thing that brings me any pleasure in times like these, is that someday they will be parents, God willing.

With that in mind, I recall the Priest’s words, we must provide moral teaching as well as provide appropriate consequences. We need to get to the ‘why’. It is then, I hatch the idea of how to get them to come clean.

In the kitchen, cooking their favorite meal, we talk about the twitter incident, the importance of staying chaste, the negative effects of looking at inappropriate material, and how we will no longer be using twitter. They look relieved.

So I say, “Perhaps this is the time for everyone to come clean, a new slate, put it all out on the table. It is Lent after all.

Is there anything else I should know about?” Nothing!

I gently remind them, I always know the answer before I ask the question. Still nothing!

Pulling out the big guns, I remind them, I always find out, and its best to just take this free opportunity to come clean. They ask if she could phone their sister. Now I know I am getting somewhere, of course I say, “No.”

Very hesitantly, one of them starts talking, realizing I am calm and attentive, it didn’t take long before the whole story comes pouring out.

Hearing the whole story, I realize, kids are still kids, yesterday, today and tomorrow. I am catapulted back in time, to when I was 16 and how innocent the world looked to me and nothing would ever hurt me. The precious time of childhood. A time when the world is a big playground and nothing bad ever happens.

Their distractions may be different but they are still just kids, thinking they are invincible and that nothing will ever happen to them. It is the way we all trod, trial and error, learning with every success and failure.

As fate would have it, our church is hearing confessions tonight, I put dinner in the oven, and we all head to church.

With each Sacrament a grace is given, called a Sacramental grace. Sacramental graces are gifts of the Holy Spirit to help us live out our Christian vocation. {CCCC pg. 881}.

With our hearts and souls cleaned and in a state of grace, we are now able to deal with the consequence of their actions. It no longer feels overwhelming and out of control but profoundly peaceful.

This situation has opened up a space for growth to occur for everyone in the family. I keep hearing the Priest’s prophetic words, “I am sure that it will be the grace of the Sacrament of Marriage that will see you though this.”

And sometimes that’s all we’ve got.

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