Perpetual Sanctification (part 2)

I wake up feeling like I had never slept. Why am I so tired? Then it comes crashing back to me, the whole scene, like reliving a movie, the finding of porn on my daughters twitter feed. Does she honestly think I believe that she doesn't know whose it is or how it got on her feed? I cannot wrap my mind around it.

Taking it to the Lord, I decide to go to another Parish for daily Mass, because I need to be alone, I need to sort this through, and I need to be anonymous. I feel the weight of 100 bricks on my shoulders. In the pew, I beg for guidance and answers. I lift my needs up to the Lord, I ask mamma Mary to help me, mother her daughter.

Mass ends, I continue to pray, the church empties, and I receive the gently nudging to speak with the Priest. I am led to the vestibule, as he hangs up the last piece of his vestment, he motions to me to follow him. We sit in the church, in front of the tabernacle, where I pour out my story to him.

When he finally speaks, he says, “May God Bless you, for living out your marriage vows, accepting children as gifts from the Lord.” I am thinking, right now they do not feel like blessings, I am struggling, she is struggling, how do I handle this situation? He continues to say, as if he is reading my mind, “I know you cannot feel the Grace of the Sacrament of Matrimony, but I am sure that it is this Grace, that will see you through this trial.”

Shifting the focus to the social media component, we both come to the conclusion that we don’t know enough about it. That perhaps she is telling the truth, in that case, reporting the incident would be the next course of action. We talk about the fact that in our day (sounds so old), the time before social media, we could forget our mistakes. Now however, our children’s past will always be recorded for anyone to reference. He speaks about their future employer’s vetting the young applicants using social media, and job offers based more on what is found there, than being the most qualified for the position.

As the end of our conversation draws near, he tells me how his mother handled situations that would require some form of consequence and moral teaching. He said, “She would make us tell her {why} we did something, even if the answer was {I just wanted to}, then she would ask us again {why}. We were not allowed to be move forward until we could answer her sufficiently. What she taught me, was how to examine my thought process and ultimately my conscience.” He then thanked me for being a good mom, and even though I am in the thick of it and cannot see it, I’m doing okay.

I walk out of the church feeling peaceful, humble and refreshed. The sun is shining and everything is possible.

I have a phone meeting with a blogger I met through reading her posts. She has been blogging longer than I have and ironically is calling to help me with the social media aspect.

After the introductions and small talk, we get down to business, starting with twitter. I told her what I had found on my daughters twitter feed and her explanation. What she said next was eye-opening. She said, “Your daughter is telling the truth.” WHAT!! “She cannot delete it from her feed, if she is not following that account. This happens all the time. It can even happen to your account!” She then walks me through how to find out where the tweet came from. As I said before, I do period phone checks and I have passwords to all media devices and accounts. There is no privacy here!

We ultimately find the source, it’s a classmate who retweeted a tweet that came from a person she is following, who is following someone else, who follows the porn account. That’s how satan weaves his web of allurement and destruction of our youth though social media!!!

Join me for the next post to read what the Grace of the Sacrament of Marriage reveals, please pray for me!!!

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