The Countdown: "Lessons" From a Mother's Heart to Her College-Bound Daughter, Day 6: Beware the Hook-up Culture, and the Gift of Your Virginity

We will be helping our youngest daughter, Grace, make the first-time move on campus in just a few days.  In all the excitement and chaos, how do I slow time to put into words she will hear, the things so important for her to know and understand?  Holy Spirit, come.  Fill my heart that I might convey these lessons that are monopolizing my worried heart; and permeate her heart to hear what You want her to hear. 

I can hear my mother’s gentle instruction to me as a young woman.  She often talked to me about the beautiful gift of my virginity.  I’ll attempt to channel her wisdom as I speak these valuable lessons from mother to daughter once again.  And she would say…

One of the most important things you have to give to your husband when you marry is the gift of your very self, your virginity.  This unique treasure is not meant for anyone else but the man you will become one with.  You can only give it once, so guard and protect it as you will deeply regret giving it away to someone who is not ready to commit wholly to you with his very self in the sacrament of marriage.

You know that is the polar opposite of what the world is saying.  Movies.  Social Media.  Magazines. Music.  Advertisements.  Books.  It is a full-court press to tear down the walls of this God-intended decree.  I would need longer than this little installment to explain how damaging the hook-up culture truly is to people.  Make no mistake.  Sleeping with someone outside of marriage is a mortal sin.  Gravely wrong.  Not my rules, but God’s and He knows what is best for His children.  You will most likely not hear this anywhere at college I’m afraid, but it is the truth.  And it is my job as a loving parent to remind you. 

Alongside this is my gentle reminder of the importance of modest dress.  I know you’ve told me that you don’t think it’s your “job” and you have no control over what a guy is going to think about provocative dress.  But if you are making choices to dress more inappropriately you will be sending messages, whether you like it or not, about who you are.  Not only do you leave an impression on testosterone-rich males, but also on anyone who sees you.  What do you want that impact to be? 

To me you have always exuded a beautiful femininity and class.  Remember who you are.  The adage “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” is to the point here.  Girls today demand to be taken seriously and respected.  “When they say no, they mean no.”  But they do not portray this woman of respect when they choose outfits that are meant solely to shock and draw attention. You can’t have both: respect and suggestive, shocking dress.  You must choose what is more important to you.   

Blessed Mother, once again I pray that you will come along side my precious daughter.  Pray for the grace so she can always see herself as God sees her.  Beautiful and beloved.  Wrap her in the mantle of your love and protection, mother.  Virgin most pure, pray for us!

Hail, Mary…