The Countdown: "Lessons" From a Mother's Heart to Her College-Bound Daughter, Day 7: Your Dignity as a Woman

We will be helping our youngest daughter, Grace, make the first-time move on campus in just a few days.  In all the excitement and chaos, how do I slow time to put into words she will hear, the things so important for her to know and understand?  Holy Spirit, come.  Fill my heart that I might convey these lessons that are monopolizing my worried heart; and permeate her heart to hear what You want her to hear. 

I’ve been fortunate in my life to have had the best role model for what it means to be a strong, beautiful woman: my mother, your grandma.  From childhood you have a memory of a nurturing grandmother who always had a cheerful home and goodies to eat.  I wish you knew her longer, because through the lens of a young woman, you would see so much more. 

I’ve learned such invaluable lessons from my mother: her strong, moral, Catholic convictions, modesty, class, decorum.  She was everything a woman should be, and it is a stark contrast to what society deems the ideal of modern feminism.  While the world would see a “sellout” in the role of wife, helpmate, and mother, it is the hardest vocation there is, and my mother was the best.  She was firm and wise in her discipline, and forever loving and supportive in the incredible task of raising quality human beings.  And strong?  Don’t get me started on the heroic example she demonstrated in her ten-year battle with terminal cancer.  She was a rock; and at the same time, she was gentleness personified. 

Of course, the best example we as women should try to emulate is the Blessed Mother.  Talk about a strong woman! So, what were the attributes God perfected in her?  Humility. (She takes no glory for herself but directs us always to her son and Lord.) Purity. (Ever-virgin model of womanly virtue.)  Devotion and trust. (She was not in any way threatened by her role as wife to a poor carpenter or “intitled” as a mother to God.) Instead, she worked tirelessly to be that helpmate and heart of her home. 

I know you are looking to set the world on fire, Grace.  You have such incredible drive and focus and lofty goals, and they are excellent.  We are so incredibly proud of you!  I remember the same kind of enthusiasm to prove myself in the male-dominated profession of arboriculture.  Your determination is to be admired, but at the same time don’t loose sight of the proper balance.  Don’t buy into society’s definition of womanhood.  We are so much more. 

Look instead to the beautiful women we have for our examples.  Don’t loose sight of what really defines you as a woman of dignity.  I have always placed you under the mantel and protection of the Blessed Mother.  She is such a powerful advocate for her children before the throne of God!  Stay close to her, Grace.  She will keep you on course.  Pray to her for guidance.  Talk to your grandmother.  We are connected to them, and they want nothing more than to help us with their motherly love. 

Hail, Mary…