What's in it For Me?: How Catholics Get in Their Own Way

Over the past several years, there has been a lot of controversy about what is ‘wrong’ with our Church, (or, I should say Christ’s Church, as it is HIS), and many have it all figured out.

‘Experts’ and critics, including many Catholics, will tell you the problem is other Catholics, certainly not themselves. They KNOW why the Church is failing. It’s the Pope (he’s a socialist, they say). It’s because of the Novus Ordo Mass, (we’ve always done it in Latin, and if we go back to Latin everyone will stream back), it’s because we have flawed folks serving the Church. We have disingenuous clergy and religious. You name it, we’ve got the flaws. THAT is why I don’t go to Mass anymore, it’s all your fault. I’m not being fed. Those folks in the Baptist Church, they have it all together. Yada, Yada, Yada. It's someone else's fault I walked away.

The fact is, it's OUR fault. 

Now, I was one of those folks. I dabbled in the ‘no religion’, ‘spiritual not religious crowd’, the ‘I found Jesus’ crowd years ago. Some circumstances, including a situation where I was literally dependent on God and developed a real close relationship to His Mother to save my life, drew me home, and I received my theology degree at the age of 49. As a side note, taking classes with kids the same age as my kids can be rather enlightening, but I digress.

I had decided to find out what the faith absolutely teaches, rather than rely on folks who I knew were flawed to tell me what really, really made a difference. Now, we are ALL flawed, but it is easier to compare ourselves to the one teaching us and focus on his or her flaws (see, I ain’t so bad) than what Christ has actually taught through His Church. Way easier. It makes it very easy to walk away. All those who criticize the Church and explain why they left are like broken records. “I left because Fr. Frank is a jerk," or, "I left because of the clergy abuse.” It’s always the “Church is wrong because this guy didn’t live up to it”...and on and on it goes.

I see more and more and more of this as time goes on. Look, the original clergy was not perfect, either. Judas had just been ordained Bishop when he betrayed Christ. The Apostles spent time arguing about who was more important, and who was going to sit where.

It has not changed. This ‘what’s in it for me’ and this ‘I don’t need the Church to figure this out’ attitude gets in our way. Every time. It has not changed. When I went back for my degree, one of the instructors in the elective of classical music was a Baptist minister. Nice guy. Sharp guy. He asked me one day “if you died tomorrow can you guarantee you know you are going to heaven?”. Now, that is an old evangelical line. Can I guarantee I’m going to heaven? The truth is that I can not. I don’t know. It’s not up to me. Again, this “what’s in it for me" deal. None of us can get quite past that.

My answer is always the same. I answer, “Why are you concerned about it? If you trust and love Christ as much as you do, why don’t you just trust Him to take care of you, as He said He would? Go with what He does.”

THAT is the key. Trust, complete submission. Trust He knows what He is doing. Count on His Mother to keep you close to Christ, and follow His will. She will do it. He works through His Mother. He CHOSE to come to us through her. Stay close to Her. This message to us was made loud and clear, especially at the Wedding at Cana. His first miracle was at her request. Those who cut her out as a non-player are missing out on a lot.

Is this easy to do, to trust Him totally, and hang with His Mother, counting on her for guidance, peace and direction, and calmness when things don’t seem to be working out the way you figure they should? No, it is not. Not by a long shot. It is hard. And, if you rely on your own strength to do it, you will fail. Sure as shootin’.

Now, for me, the turning point, the thing that really underlined this to me was when they found I had a brain tumor years ago.

They found it as the result of a head on accident I was involved with when a drunk in a Corvette tried to illegally pass and hit my Chrysler Concorde head on about 65 mph. Bad stuff. He was busted up pretty bad. Then, they found I had a brain tumor, one that never would have been found except for that accident. It had to be removed immediately. I found myself on the operating table for 9 hours, and it got pretty rough.

On top of that, while I was recovering in ICU, my mother was bought into the same hospital, dying of cancer. Knowing the end was near, they rolled my bed and everything down to say goodbye. I must have been a sight; gauze and dried blood all over my face and head, wired up to monitors like an F-16, tubes and stuff running in and out of every orifice in my body. I’ll never forget the look on her face. I asked her if she needed a Priest, she said she had taken care of that. I said “I’ll see you when I see you," and that was the last words we spoke. A week later, they let me out of the hospital long enough to give a reading at her funeral Mass. Honestly, I was still pretty doped up on morphine, and don’t remember a whole lot about it.

Now, the reason I say this is that I realized that God was the ONLY thing that was going to have this all turn out, and regardless, it would be His will. None of my Norman Vincent Peale ‘positive mind waves’ would amount to a hill of beans. I was totally, totally, dependent on God, and the instruments he used (doctors and nurses) to achieve His will. There was nothing I could do to affect the outcome. That is an eye-opener. And, I’m sure the Apostles came to the same conclusion. Which is why we’re here.

The focus can never be on individuals. Each one of us has been given a job. The Pope’s job is guide the Church without error in the teachings of our savior. The Bishops and clergy’s job is to pass those teachings down to us. Our job is to live those teachings. On a personal level, we will all fail to one extent or another. Count on it. But, you can always count on Christ to pick us up and see us through. Through HIS Church He has provided us the means to remain true to Him. All the tools are there. The Sacraments, the teachings. It’s up to us to use them.

Now, this doesn’t mean you lay around and let God do the work. He will do the heavy lifting, but you’ve got to live life to your best within the parameters He has given us, and use the tools He gave us through His Church to do that. ALWAYS put Him first. I have been building race cars and messing with race cars for 50 years. I had a good secular career. But I count on Him, through His Mother, to guide me to do that. I know I do not have the answers. I just do the best I can, and let Mary handle it. I pray the Rosary daily. She is my best friend, and I rely on her company and guidance, constantly. If folks have a problem with that, I don’t care. I KNOW who is running the show. And, that suits me just fine.

“In the End, My Immaculate Heart Will Triumph”. Our Lady said that at Fatima. Rest easy, take that at face value. It will be OK. Lighten up.