Living in Love

“Mommy, How do we know that we are worshiping the One True God (and some other people don’t)?”

This is the question my son asked me the other day. It’s a really good question. He’s seven years old and was studying the Ten Commandments, which talk about not worshiping false gods. I have heard it said that religion is not only unnecessary but makes a person more hateful and intolerant. While every religion has hateful and intolerant people in their ranks, it shows a remarkably shallow view of religion. The oldest sense of the word “religion” is relationship; that is, relationship with God. If we focus strictly on the rules, we lose the relationship. If there are no rules, there is simply anarchy. Grammar has rules. Drivers have rules. There are countless books about the rules of a relationship. There are even laws created to curb abusive relationships. We are in relationship with God. It is crucial to know who we are in relationship with. To use a metaphor, the way we live our lives is like how we drive a car. If we don’t know where we are going we could get lost. If we can’t focus over the hood then our driving will be erratic. If we are busy taking selfies while driving we will wreck. In short, just as in driving, where we focus is where we will end up. We had better know where we are going.

Obviously I can’t respond to everything in this article. But I will outline what I said to my son. I explained things to him in the following manner:

1. Who are we in relationship with?
2. How do we use the Sacraments and the Catholic Church to maintain this relationship?
3. Where are we going and how do we recognize those who are headed in the same direction?
4. Where do we end up if we end up completely off course?

Again, these answers are meant to give you an idea of how I explained things to my seven year old. I will hit each point quickly and move on. If you would like clarification just ask. In the meantime please understand that I am typing furiously during my toddler’s nap time. So fasten your seatbelts and we’re off…

1. We are in relationship with God, the Source of all Goodness and Truth, who knew us since before time began and formed us in the womb. We are in relationship with Jesus, whose life is the model for our lives. He loves us so much that He would rather die than spend eternity without us. We are in relationship with the Holy Spirit, who calls us by name and reminds us who we are. This is the quiet voice telling us that each one of us is unique and irreplaceable. It guides us in our daily living so that we know how to use our unique gifts to uphold what is good, beautiful and true in ourselves, each other and creation. It removes the stumbling blocks of “either/ or” and gives us building blocks of “yes!/ and…”. Not one of us is greater than the other, but we are entrusted to each other.
2. The Catholic Church and her sacraments were instituted by Jesus for our benefit. This is the grammar, as it were, that keeps communication open with God on our end. The Catholic Church is for sinners, those who will continually fall and get back up again. The Sacraments are meant to be used and used again. The Sacraments are more powerful than we can possibly imagine but we continually fail to understand them or appreciate them because we fail to understand how completely loved we are. We were created to be loved and to love. The more we correctly use the Sacraments, the more loving we become. To put it a different way: the more loving we become, the more like God, who is Love, we are.

The Sacraments aren’t the only reason I love the Catholic Church though. The Church has an intellectual tradition that is 2000 years old. That’s 2000 years of philosophy, science, arts, music, medicine, etc. Studying Catholicism should be an intellectual buffet. It should challenge you to learn more. If you pick up a book on ancient or medieval philosophy or a book on the Sacraments and think that your 21^st century reactive mind can easily dismiss it, then there is something very, very wrong. If you do not like or understand some Church teachings then learn about them! God gave you a mind. Use it.

3. Where are we going and how do we recognize those who are on the same path as us? Hopefully we are going to Heaven to be with God, who is Love and the Source of All Goodness. Heaven is probably wildly exciting, where we can explore and learn and love one another fully. Heaven isn’t for those who seek worldly perfection but for those who have turned to God. It is full of the people who listened to the promptings of the Spirit who reminded them that they are born for love and have accepted that Love. There is no way of knowing who chooses God at the last moment so it is best for us to choose God every moment – just for practice.

God is Love, which means that it is God’s nature to give Himself freely at all times. Yes, there are Sacraments which undeniably give grace. But God will use every means possible to call his children to Him. In short, there are no magic words or rituals which ensure your entrance to heaven and exclude others who do not participate in them. As I told my son, look for those who live in Love. Here are some of the distinctions I told my son.

God is Love, the Source of All Goodness. We live our lives in such a way that will allow for the Source of All Goodness to guide us. For our family, this means following the teaching of the Catholic faith. It also means that we are to continue to study and learn the “whys” of our faith.

Not everybody is Christian, and we believe that Jesus was born, suffered, and died for us so that ALL souls can get to heaven. All souls who are united with the Source of All Goodness have a shot at getting to heaven. This does not mean that all faiths are created equal or that someone is secretly a Christian. It means that God is Love and Love wants to be found. We are all made in the image and likeness of God so it is part of our very nature to desire to be in, well, Love.

People who live in Love seek and uphold what is good, beautiful and true. People who live in Love uphold to dignity of everybody they meet. Opportunities to convert another person isn’t really about converting someone to a faith, but is in reality a gentle reminder that that person is loved and valued. In order to do this, we must truly believe that each person is loved and valued and behave accordingly.

Someone who lives in Love will never, ever ask another person to do something beneath his or her dignity but will always strive to protect others.

A person who lives in Love does not need to impose himself or herself on anybody else. Love is an invitation, not an assault.

A person who lives in Love knows her strengths and weaknesses. She does not try to be someone she is not or pretend that she can do things that she cannot. On the flip side she is knows what she is capable of and demands the best from herself.

A person who lives in Love is secure in his place in the world.

A person who lives in Love neither shrinks from nor invites suffering or death.

A person who lives in Love recognizes the truth and is not easily swayed by the latest headline or ‘outrage’.

A person who lives in Love is joyful and takes delight in all things beautiful.

A person who lives in Love has hope for the future.

A person who lives in Love actively seeks the good and is moved to action.

A person who lives in Love can bear seemingly unbearable sorrow and uncertainty.

A person who lives in Love will do anything to stay close to the source of that Love. This involves times of quiet prayer, fasting, and self-sacrifice.

4. Now for what happens if we royally screw up. For this I will use a quote from the book St. Patrick’s Summer: A Children’s Adventure Catechism written by Marigold Hunt. It turns out that hell is more frightening that I thought.

“Besides being a more miserable place than you can possibly imagine,” said St. Cecilia, “It’s the opposite of Heaven in being quite hopelessly boring. You see, there’s no one there except the devils, who hate you, and the other damned souls, who hate you and each other too, and you loathe and detest them all. How would you like to spend even one day in such company? But to be there forever!”

“Can’t God do anything about it?” said Cecilia.

“What could He do?” said St. Cecilia. “The people who go there have chosen to hate Him, and they won’t change their minds. If He took them to Heaven by force, they would be more miserable than they are in Hell; they so hate and fear God that their only wish is to get as far away from Him as possible. And since they were made for God and nothing but God could make them happy, they are bound to be miserable. It’s one of the worst things about Hell that there is no one there who wishes to leave it.” (257-8).